Read My Lips
by Terra Saltt
Summary: Tino enjoys the comfort of a quiet library and dreaming minds when he picks up on the charming thoughts of a perfect stranger. Has Berwald found someone that can fully understand him, even when he is silent? MindReader!Tino x Deaf!Berwald AU
1. Chapter 1

**THIS RANDOMLY HAPPENED AAAGHGHGHHGH.**

**Update speed for this one = slower than normal for me. And those of you that read my stuff will know that my normal update speed is around one chapter a day and slow update speed is still faster than most people's fast. (I usually write the stories first, then start posting them. This one I will be posting as I finish the chapters.)**

**WARNINGS:**

**BL (Boy Love. Lots of fluff, maybe some kissing and fleeting mentions of sexual content. FOR NOW…)**

**MindReader!Tino x Deaf!Berwald**

**Ummmm…yeah. Have fun, my children. Read and review!**

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><p>The sound of a page turning in a silent room is a calming thing. The air is still and smells of old binding and ink. In this place you can feel solitary, unnoticeable, and undisturbed as your mind travels to places only you can see. Words on a page are forgotten and the story magically comes to life in your mind. Like a movie seen in a thousand ways by a thousand people.<p>

The library is a nice quiet place to most. I, for one, always feel at home in this maze of books, tables, and comfortable rocking chairs. My foot absentmindedly moves up and down to bend my knee and make me sway peacefully back and forth. The rhythm is comfortable and paced just to my liking. Like everyone else here I hold a book in my lap and have my eyes glued to its pages. But unlike everyone else, I am not reading this book. I am watching the ones being read around me.

If I wanted to watch a story I could go to the movies. But that costs money and is nothing quite like unfiltered human imagination. Filmmaking doesn't come anywhere near the vivid detail and lure of written tales. I am the only one around me with the gift to tap into the minds of others and see what they see in their heads. Each perspective is different and even the same book can be read twice but feel new by different people. That is why I come to the library: to watch what others read.

My head doesn't do so well in most public places. The thoughts of the busy world are often headache inducing and confusing. Sometimes downright scary. Ever since I was little I hid from crowded places where I would hear voices in my head. However, they were not in my head. They were in others. Mind reading comes in handy sometimes but often I feel as if I must isolate myself to keep my sanity. It is here in the library I can enjoy the company of others and not be burdened by my odd ability.

It is in relaxed settings like this I can exorcize my control. By narrowing in on one person's mind as they read I can focus and learn to sharpen my awareness. Most people want to learn how to take in as much as they can around them. I try my best to become ignorant and have made considerable improvement.

It was a normal day when I decided to stop viewing the story of the man by the window reading a murder mystery novel when a scene started to get too graphic for me. He had quite the imagination to see it in such detail…or maybe it was how the book described it. I could never tell. Instead I freed my mind and began to see the images and pictures of the twenty or so people around me at the time. There were also the thoughts of the librarian who was busy thinking about what she was going to have for dinner.

_I could really go for a big bucket of fried chicken but I don't want Roddy thinking I'm a fat cow…I wonder if he's okay with pasta…._

I knew Elizaveta pretty well. Of course she knows almost nothing about me, just my name and what kinds of books I normally check out (I am a regular after all) but after spending so much time here I couldn't help but pick up on who she was. It might have been an intrusion on her personal space but I couldn't help overhearing her funny and blunt thoughts from time-to-time.

I began to focus on the voices behind me. People sat at small tables and comfy chairs all over in my proverbial vision.

_Rather than streetlamps, placed at regular intervals along the sidewalk were enormous trees the likes of which the children had never seen before-and which they could scarcely see now. High above a thick and prickly trunk, the branches of the trees drooped down like laundry hung out to dry, spreading their wide, flat leaves out in every direction, like a low, leafy ceiling over the Baudelaires' heads. This ceiling blocked out all the light from above, so even though it was the middle of the afternoon, the street looked as dark as evening-if a bit greener. It was hardly a good way to make three orphans feel welcome as they approached their new home._

A story about orphans? I wasn't particularly in the mood for such a dark story right now and the way this person pictured it filled me with dread. My mind skipped to the next one.

_He shakes his head. "No, I'm very sorry, Floe. Your parents are…gone." _

_I knew it. One of my last memories is of my dad telling me my mother had also contracted lympaticotosis. "My dad, too?" I ask softly._

"_Yes," he says quietly. "It wasn't your fault, Floe. The Venice Beach outbreak was unexpected and highly contagious." He smiles. "I have some good news, though. I can revive them as well."_

Nah. Lets see what the next one is…

_He transferred one hand to his other grip, leaving one set of his fingers free to slip down over the curve of her throat and to cup her breast while her wrists were captured above her head. The hand left her breast and reached down to lift the weight of her gown, crumpling it in an awkward wad between them. She felt the fresh air through her light woolen hose and the brush of his strong leg between hers._

Woah, woah, WOAH. Erotic romance novels strike again! I hate it when that happens. If I didn't tear my mind away from steamy scenes like that quick, I would end up with a problem in the middle of the library. I do enjoy the romance genre, but I am a rather innocent man…when not alone.

_Would he like to get a coffee with me?_

That thought was not accompanied by an image. It was from someone, a man by the sound of his inner voice, not reading a book but thinking to himself. I have a bad habit of sticking my nose into other people's business and tuned in curiously.

_Wait, no…I have to introduce myself first don't I? Will he think I am weird for talking to a stranger like that? Maybe I should come up with something that I need…a conversation starter. I could ask him if he knows where a certain book is and he could show me, and I could thank him and invite him out to coffee or lunch… But he might not know or point me to the librarian. Then what would I do?_

Score! Oh how I love to listen to the inner ramblings of these kinds of situations. When a girl is working up the courage to speak to a boy she likes, or a man is pondering what his first line to a possible sweetheart will be…! Unless the person has purely lusty intentions, it is endearing to watch. This man sounded nervous and confused and I couldn't help but grin. His thoughts were sweet; the images in his mind of the places he wanted to take whoever he was aiming for were wonderful and charming. It would be worth it to take a break from my viewing to see how this turns out so I focused everything on him.

_If only it were easy to tell if he even likes men…I could be setting my sights on someone I don't have a chance with. So I should start with being friends. Should I walk over and recommend a book to him? No, that would be too random to be casual… Perhaps I could drop something as I walk by. He looks like the kind that would help me pick it up and I could strike up some kind of conversation._

It is times like these I can be thankful for my strange gift. I don't have nearly as much trouble as others when it comes to figuring out someone's sexuality and personality before I speak to them. I am bisexual, so you can see how it comes in handy. In my own head I was rooting for the man clearly infatuated with this lucky stranger. Try it! I would certainly fall for such a cute way to make first contact, being the sap I am.

_Wait, I can't talk to him…I keep forgetting. I don't know the point in trying when I'm like this. The chances of him knowing sign language are slim to none._

Don't tell me…this man is deaf? Oh, how cruel! He was right, there was a very small chance of a random person knowing sign language. I felt the utmost of sympathy for him.

_It would be a good excuse to find out, though. I could thank him in sign and see if he understands. If not…_

Soon after he made a decision. He was going to try it whether he thought he had a chance or not. Whoever this was had balls, I gave him that. I wished him luck.

"Ah!" a gasp came to my side as someone was walking by. I looked up from the book I wasn't reading to see a man, very tall with blonde hair slightly darker than mine, was carrying a few books when they tumbled out of his grasp. They landed on the floor with a loud thud echoing in the silent building making a few heads turn only to resume what they were doing a second later.

The man bent down to pick them up, throwing a quick weary glance at me, and I instinctively got up to help. "Whoops, let me get that one for you." I picked up the one farthest from his reach and handed it to him as he kneeled on the ground with the others. He took it, his face rather stern and intimidating as he stared up at me with sharp sea blue eyes behind square glasses, and set it on the small stack he gathered on the floor. He then lifted his hands and made a sign, then nodded affirmatively. I heard his thoughts clearly above all others.

"_Thank you." Please understand…_

It was in that moment that I realized what just happened. I was the one the deaf man was thinking of, and I just fell into his little scheme.

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><p><strong>Reviews will determine the update speed of the next chapter. The more I get, the faster the next chapter will most likely come out. That's just how I roll.<strong>

**BOOK EXCERPTS USED:**

**A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator By Lemony Snicket**

**I was a Teenage Popsicle by Bev Katz Rosenbaum**

**Bound by Honor: An Erotic Novel of Maid Marian by Michelle Buinfiglio.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I have some terrible news. In a random act of violence, the favorite button was admitted to a hospital in critical condition after a vicious stabbing by a fanfic reader. Doctors were able to stabilize it after eight hours of surgery, but it is still recovering. However, the favorite button is healing fast and doctors say it is fit to assume its duties again. If anyone has any information on the attacker, please call 1-800-THANK-YOU. You guys are awesome~**

**ANYWAY…**

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><p>"Uh, you're welcome!" I said with a little more enthusiasm than I should have as he stood up, and boy was he tall. Then I realized that speaking was not really the best way to communicate to a deaf man and internally kicked myself. "S-sorry, I mean I know you can't hear me so…" Ugh, why do I talk so much when I am nervous? He can't even understand what I'm saying!<p>

He lifted his hands again and I heard him think the words he was quickly signing, his inner voice hopeful while his face remained the same. _"Can you sign?"_

I was about to answer 'no' when I realized that would be a dead give away that I could understand, so I simply gave him a blank look hoping it seemed convincing. I'm not a very good liar.

That is when he cleared his throat. His real voice was lower than his inner one, something very common for most people, and rather broken as if the words were foreign to him. Not like an accent, but like he didn't know how to speak very well. (Actually he might have had an accent as well. It was hard to tell.)

"Th'nk yah f'r help'n m'." It took a second for me to comprehend what he said but when I did I tried to be cheerful and answered.

"No problem!"

_He's cute when he smiles…_

It took everything I had not to turn red. I'm not really used to compliments, you see. I was always labeled the freak or the loner. When you try your best to be a wallflower you aren't really prepared for these kinds of situations. I know he was just being nice and that his intentions were good, but there is something a little different about watching someone feel affection for another versus being the one getting the affection. I kind of just wanted to abruptly leave and run away, but that would be rude… Curse my polite nature!

"C'n yah show m' how tah ch'ck these ou'?" he asked. "H'ven't b'n tah the libr'ry in ah l'ng t'me." His thoughts were racing with feelings of embarrassment and anticipation for my answer though his stoic expression stayed neutral. It is amazing how well someone can develop a façade to hide what they truly think and feel. This man was very good at it because if I weren't a mind reader, I would tell you he was angry at me. The way he stared at my face like that was kind of like a glare and I flinched involuntarily under it. I followed his example and tried to keep my face void of my uneasiness.

"S-sure, of course."

"Th'nks. N'me's B'rw'ld."

"Burwild?" The man hesitated, mouthed something, and slowly shook his head. I heard his thoughts much better than his actual speech. _I think he's mispronouncing it. How do I tell him my name is Berwald?_

"Oh, Berwald," I corrected myself and tried to play it off as an ah-ha moment. "Sorry, it took a moment to get. I'm a little slow… Wait, do you understand me?" He's been responding to my speech this whole time. Was Berwald completely deaf or just partly?

"R'd l'ps." I didn't quite catch that and he had to repeat himself a little clearer. "Er, r'd…re'd li's…?"

"Read lips?" A quick nod. Ah, so that certainly makes things a little easier and explains his strange staring. It was hard to understand him but at least he wasn't completely mute. "Wow, I've never met someone who can do that before. My name is Tino, by the way." Giving Berwald my name felt a little strange but I couldn't help it after he already gave me his. Curse my polite nature…again.

I could feel him process my words while he remained unchanged on the outside. It took a moment before he gave me any sign that he understood and I made a note to speak a little slower for him. "N'ce tah me't yah."

"Likewise." We shook hands and I pointed towards Elizaveta in the corner. She was filing her nails behind her desk waiting for something to do. "That's the librarian. You probably don't have a library card if it has been that long so you will need to get a new one." When I turned my sight back to him I did a little squeaking noise in the back of my throat that I am very glad he didn't hear. Berwald was leaning towards me with a look on his face, which I knew was just concentration but really did scare me for a second. His staring was intense!

_He is helpful, like I thought. Ah…I think I'm scaring him…_

Berwald leaned away again and blinked. At least he was considerate, I know of many people that have invaded my personal space and didn't spare a single thought towards it. I should know.

I awkwardly led him to the counter and Elizaveta looked up. She saw me first and gave me a friendly wave and a smile while tucking her long brown hair behind her ear. She always wore some kind of flower clip on one side and was indeed very pretty.

"Hello, Tino! How's my favorite reader doing today? Find anything good on the shelves? I swear you've read them all." That is when she saw Berwald stand next to me; his piercing gaze sent her mind into a paranoid frenzy. _Holy shit, this guy is scary! Is he mad? Why is he following poor Tino around? If he does anything, I'm alerting security._

"I'm doing fine, thanks. Um…Eli, this is Berwald. Berwald, Eli," I introduced them as happily as I could to show her there was nothing wrong. Poor Berwald was being judged unfairly, but I couldn't blame her.

"I see…a friend of yours?" _I'm glad to see he has one but I'm worried about who he's hanging out with._

"Hm." Berwald grunted to confirm. Out of the corner of my vision I saw his eyes dart to me in what appeared to be a nonchalant glance but was definitely a sign of inner panic. _Why did I say that? We met no more than five minutes ago; I can't just go around telling people we are friends! He is going to think I'm strange…_

"S-sort of…" I scratched the back of my head and tried to play it cool. For Berwald's sake. I wasn't going to bite his head off when it was obvious he didn't mean anything by it. Of course, he didn't know that. "I met him by the nonfiction section. He needs a library card and a refresher on how things work here."

Elizaveta got to work setting Berwald up. He conversed with her through a pencil and paper to avoid miscommunication and I stood nearby waiting for them to be done. The book I wasn't reading from before was still in my hand and I pretended to be thumbing through it, though it was once again nothing but my cover. I couldn't stop hearing the voices of the ones nearest to me, like two people talking at once. They were joined with the fainter voices of the others in the building reading and day dreaming as usual. I couldn't wait to get back to my pleasant viewing when I could block it all out…

But first I had to get away from my secret admirer.

To be frank: he was nice. He seemed caring and thoughtful. His cold demeanor was just a mask for the sweet good natured man inside, by what I could tell. A perfect match for…well, anyone. Except for me. I had the common sense to stay single, thank you very much. Being a mind reader is very hard to keep away from any potential partners and the only time I ever had some kind of relationship she freaked out and demanded I never speak to her again. Apparently, using my ability to find out what makes her ideal man so I could be that ideal man for her was 'disturbing.' All I wanted was for her to like me the same way I liked her…I had the purest of intentions. But years have passed since then and I grew to realize that she was kind of right. It was an invasion of her personal space no better than sneaking into her house to read her diary and make off with her panties. To a stupid teenage boy: it sounded like a good idea at the time.

So you can see why I felt a little sympathetic towards Berwald. His mind kept going back to me as I stood by seemingly unaware. Whatever it was that he saw in me, he really seemed to like it. All kinds of plots to get me on a date with him were going over in his mind and I had to give him credit: the man was brilliant. It was all I could do not to blush at the sweet determination he had.

Finally, his card was made. Elizaveta scanned the barcodes of Berwald's four books and put them under his new account. He thanked her and picked them up, I quickly read the titles curiously to see they were history books, and put them in the free navy blue complementary book bag you get when you sign up for a library card. He thanked her with a quick sign and a nod then turned to face me.

"Th'nk yah," he said in that gruff voice of his. "C'me here oft'n?" _Dear lord, that was cliché. _I had to stop myself from laughing at how obvious it was, even without my ability, that he didn't put any thought into that before saying it. "…L'brar'n knows yah, s' ah thought…"

"Yeah," I gave him a quick nod and a friendly smile. "Now that you are all checked out, I'll get out of your hair and get back to my book. Your welcome and enjoy the literature!"

"S're." Berwald nodded. He shifted his bag onto his elbow to create a quick series of gestures. "G'dbye." _"I hope we meet again soon."_

"Uh, yeah…I m-mean, goodbye!" I stumbled over my words and quickly turned to walk away. That was close! He confused me there, saying one thing and thinking the other. I almost responded to his signing which would have been hard to explain. Oh well, at least I can go back to what I was doing before Berwald appeared. Hopefully he would forget about me but to play it safe I decided to sit in a different spot for the next week in case he came back. Not that I didn't like him, but…it would probably be a bad idea to associate much. I don't want him to get attached to someone unreachable and I don't want to be either.

Ah, but if only I could…I might have gone with him for that coffee.

000

I work in my home office from eight to three. The hours in between are often used up in my nice quiet home or, more often than not, at the library. It really is my only good connection to the outside world where I can spend unlimited time in the presence of others. Because of my little problem of going out in crowded public places I kind of lived like a hermit, which really sucks when you are a people person and don't like to be alone. The only time I brave the outside world of common society was when I went to the store for food and necessities. Otherwise, everything would be delivered to my house. You can have food sent to your door too but that is a little expensive and I like picking it out myself. Shopping is fun if there aren't too many people…

Imagine it like you are stuck in a crowd. Maybe an amusement park where people are always talking and laughing, straining to hear each other over the others. Now imagine if you were seeing images flash through your mind, both memories and daydreams, along with those constant voices and all their sensations as well. It is enough to deal with my own life much less a hundred others. It is like brain overload and gives me major headaches. Sometimes I even pass out. That is why poor Tino isn't allowed in malls, or zoos, or generally anywhere most people flock to. I can't even go to the bank without getting bombarded by disordered noise. A person's mind is never at rest.

So you can imagine why I come to the library so much. It is a constant, a comfort, a link. I can travel the world and beyond in this small never-flooded building without leaving the comfort of a rocking chair. Thoughts here are calm and quiet, always hushed and collected as if the library rules applied not only to their outside voices but inside ones as well. Nothing chaotic or confusing, just relaxed minds sinking into a dream-like state. Through sleet and snow, I went nearly every day. And if not this library, others. There are two within walking distance of my house and one just a short bus ride away. But this one is by far my favorite.

Today I was reading something myself. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, a very gripping novel with tons of suspense and action. I've read the whole series twice and was happily starting again for a third time when I happened to hear something different from the usual murmurs and whispers of tones and notions. It was someone entering the front doors, not really out of the ordinary but enough to stir me like the echo of a drop of water in a cave. They would come inside and get situated, and then I would tone them out like the others…

_I wonder if I'll see him again. Probably not, but you never know._

My eyes instantly lifted and I peered through the thin shelves to see the deaf man from a few days before walk in with his book bag in hand. I was partly hidden by a few encyclopedias so he didn't see me when he first scanned the room before making his way to the turn-in box. All four books he previously checked out were put in the slot and he turned around to head towards the shelves when he was done. I got up from my chair and moved to the mystery section which provided a bit more cover. I didn't want Berwald finding me or he might…I don't know, do something! There was something about his presence that was making me jumpy. So I hid and hoped he would quickly find something interesting to read and leave. That was the plan…

…Until I peeked through a few covers and saw him heading straight for where I was. Why was he coming here? Did he see me? Oh…the mystery section is next to history. Doesn't he like history? Crap, I better get out of here!

I rushed to the other side of the isle as quietly as possible, remembering halfway there that he was deaf and it didn't matter, and rounded the corner just before he walked around the other. I was pretty sure I was in the clear until I heard his thoughts.

_What was that? Felt like running._

The building is old and the boards do creak and shudder a little when you walk on them. I guess he picked up my panicked vibrations and I paled. Great, we were on even grounds! I could sense him and he could sense me. What a game of cat and mouse…

I didn't have much warning before the volumes on a shelf next to me were parted to make a small gap. It was a fleeting thought at most and I barely had time to duck. I could feel him searching above me as I crouched and prayed that he wouldn't look down. He didn't and I sighed in relief when he put the books back. I stood up and crept as softly over the floor as I could and left the mystery/history section feeling rather victorious.

Then I bumped into a display of children's picture books while my head was turned and they toppled on top of me.

"Eek!" I squeaked and fell over from sheer surprise. My life flashed before my eyes as I tumbled to the ground in a heap with thin paperbacks under and on top of me, some opened with freshly creased pages and others sprawled on top of each other. One was on my head and all I could see was Moominpappa. I sat up carefully when I realized I was still alive and the book slid off slowly allowing me to see again. What I saw completely defeated the purpose of my sneaking: Berwald walked right up to me from where I came from and held out his slightly larger hand.

_Ah, so he IS here!_

"Yah 'kay?" It was nice of him to ask but I had to control my temper at him. In his mind he was laughing. The jerk! I just had a life or death experience and he thought it was funny! I took his hand anyway and grumbled under my breath. What was the point of keeping quiet in the presence of a deaf man? Berwald gave me a weird look "…Stup'd wha'?"

Oh yeah. He reads lips.

"O-oh, nothing!" I said and laughed a little. I dusted myself off and went right to picking up the poor display I just demolished thanks to my famous clumsiness. There wasn't any major damage to the books…none that kids would care about, anyway. Berwald knelt beside me and helped clean up like a gentleman. "Um, I wasn't expecting to…" His eyes were on the ground so he couldn't see what I was saying. I had to wait for us to be done for me to get the chance to speak. "I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon. Did you not like the books you borrowed? I remember you had a few of them."

He shook his head. "Nah. R'd th'm."

I think he said he read them. Seriously, I had to really concentrate on what he was saying to get it. "All of them in a few days? Wow, you must have a lot of free time."

"Hm. Ah speed r'd. Plus ah lost m' job."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that." I truly was. It is hard to keep a job in this recession, especially if you are handicapped. But I am sure they have programs that get people like him who need work into places. I think.

"Wha' w're yah do'n h're?" he gestured to the kids section around us. My brain went into overdrive trying to think of a feasible excuse as to why I was in such a strange place for a twenty five year old.

"I-I…I was just…uh, I was…" my eyes drifted to the display of Moomin books and I hurriedly plucked one from the top. "…getting a book! Yeah, I love The Moomins. They were my favorite when I was little and I still like reading the picture books." He wasn't buying it. At least my lie was half-truth. I really do still like The Moomins cartoons and comics and is something I probably won't ever grow out of. Not to say my adoration for the cute characters wasn't a little embarrassing and my ears felt hot as I tried my best to look casual.

_He was the one running from me. I scare him._

You have no idea how heartbroken and ashamed that thought sounded. If you heard it, you would have done the same thing I did. I could tell he was already a little down on how he came off on others. It wasn't his fault if he were born with a naturally more…aggressive face. "Um…want to sit down somewhere? We look kind of weird standing in the kid's section." What? Wasn't I trying to get away from him? Why, yes. I was. But I'm too much of a goody-goody to let anyone feel like I'm treating them wrong.

He agreed and we made our way back to the sitting area. The dulled thoughts of other relaxed readers were like background noise and were easily ignored. I took a seat at a table farthest from any other people and he sat down on the other side and stared.

And stared.

And kept staring.

It might have only been a few seconds but they were seconds that were quickly becoming awkward for me. I know he's only waiting for me to speak so he can read my lips, but still…

_Beautiful eyes…are they violet? Such a strange color._

Okay, so it wasn't my lips he was staring at. I was getting self conscious and flipped open my Moomin book to somewhere in the middle for a possible distraction. "Ah! This artist draws them differently than how I remember the original cartoons. Snufkin's hat is huge." I turned the page around for him to see and he finally tore his eyes off my face. He took a quick look and quirked an eyebrow.

_Adorable._

I was half-sure he was talking about Snufkin.

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><p><strong>I've gotten nothing but good reviews on this one so far. Thanks, guys! But if you see anything out of place, don't be afraid to speak up. I'll take any opinion for consideration. :)<strong>

**Oh, and yes I slightly changed the name of this fic. Just go with it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Where I live has been ranked in the top five of the gayest cities in the USA. Glad to be doing my part lol.**

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><p>It was probably a bad idea to invite Berwald to sit down with me that day because he saw it as a green light that I wouldn't mind being friends. In most circumstances I would welcome it, being the acquaintance-lacking person I am, but knowing that us being buddies wasn't the only thing on his mind was getting to me.<p>

I had to remind myself that this is how things normally go for people: they attempt to establish some kind of familiarity to the one they are approaching while their mind deals with their surge of desire and tries not to let the other know until a more reasonable time. Things work best that way until someone gets the balls to fess up. I have seen it everywhere, especially with young people, who aren't confident (or stupid) enough to tell someone immediately when they think they might be developing a crush on them. That is where my ability becomes a hazard. I really wish I didn't know! It was backwards from how things should be and I felt awkward all the time. I was constantly fighting to seem normal while Berwald's thoughts were so loud and informing as he sat down across from me at a table with a fresh book. This one was about the middle ages and he gave me a quick glance before opening it up to the first page.

_Tino looks zoned out. Should I ask him if he is okay?_

Crap, he noticed I'm not actually 'reading.' I let out a forced yawn in hopes it would answer his question with the subliminal excuse that I am tired.

_His brows scrunch together when he does that,_ Berwald's mind freely noted. _I wonder what he's like when he sleeps?_

An image came to me at that moment, obviously not from my imagination but his. It was his picture of what I might look like resting my head in my arms over the desk, snoozing away on top of my open book like a sleeping dove with slightly parted lips and a relaxed dreaming face. I looked adorable as hell, which made me feel hot in my cheeks. To conceal it I put my elbow on the table and leaned into my palm hoping that and my bangs would hide me well enough while appearing unaware. This thing happened all the time but it never got any easier to cover my reaction!

Berwald remained looking unchanged as always even though his mind was constantly going at full speed. He was quite the thinker, no wonder he always checked out textbooks and informationals. Behind that quiet intimidating demeanor was a strong drive to learn that I have to say, as an academic failure throughout high school, I admired. His expression didn't change once in the twice a week visits he has been making to the library to return books and get new ones. He wasn't fooling me, though. Yes he did come because he was getting into reading a bit more but it was also about running into 'little Tino.' I swear if he calls me that to my face I'll sock him in the jaw. Though it would probably break my hand and he wouldn't be phased…heh.

This was the first time we've sat down and read together. Textbooks were much like a boring documentary and put me to sleep so I figured I wasn't missing much but it was harder to ignore thoughts from very nearby so I guess I had no choice but to listen or be driven nuts. This time, however, Berwald didn't have a dull textbook. It was an actual story, a historical novel I have read before, and I couldn't help but feel a bit interested in how he would see it. I tuned in as he began to read.

_The news had quickly spread throughout the tiny village of Vieutrou. The houses were few, and no secret could be kept for long. It was one of those typical hamlets of the Swiss Alps, tucked away in thick pine forests. The village of Vieutrou was loosely laid out as a circle of small, dilapidated farms surrounding a parish church in much the same condition. What was the news?_

_The Duchesnes, a poor, young sharecropping couple, living in a pathetic, windowless barn, had given birth to a boy. In a village such as Vieutrou, the arrival of a little boy was a source of joy not only for the parents, but also for their employer. A son would eventually help his parents in the field, pushing heavy plows and carrying weighty loads. For the employer, the birth was a stroke of luck. The sharecroppers' productivity would be affected by the new arrival, but the baby would soon turn into a productive child who would not have to be paid._

_Though the biting cold of winter winds and snow had proved of lesser intensity than in previous years, the Alps were still a forbidding place to be in the dead of winter. Cold, snow, and gusty winds further isolated small communities such as Vieutrou. Toward the end of autumn in 1411, children sitting under the venerable village oak, resting after a backbreaking day spent carrying water jugs, were interrupted in their playing by news of the birth._

It didn't take long for me to become entranced with the snowy world he conjured in his mind. It was so realistic I was wondering if he's ever been to the Alps before. The clothing and architecture was correct to the time period and I could nearly smell the fresh air. The one thing I noticed that was unexpected, however, was the sound. In his mind he heard the baby crying and rush of wind past a towering oak tree seen from the children's perspective.

But Berwald was deaf, so how could he remember those sounds so well? Come to think of it, I never asked him how long he'd been unable to hear. Obviously it wasn't his whole life because he could sort of speak, but his language ability obviously deteriorated from living in silence. Most of the time he refrained from having to talk as much as possible but with me unable to do sign language and explain why I can still understand him, it was all he had to communicate. Except…

I got up abruptly and went to the librarian's desk. I heard Berwald's questioning thoughts as he watched me leave then come back after asking Elizaveta for a paper and pencil. Returning with the items, I put them on the table and wrote my question on the top. Berwald watched me write until it was handed to him to read.

'So how long have you been deaf?'

He took a second before he finally picked up the pencil and put it to the paper. I heard his answer before I had the chance to read it.

_Six years._

Ah, so it hadn't been too terribly long. I followed it up with another question.

'How did it happen, if you don't mind me asking?'

_Car accident,_ was the short reply. I didn't hear any thoughts that he was sensitive to the subject so I kept imploring. What? I was curious. 'Ouch. Is that the only injury you got?'

_Hit my head pretty hard, lost hearing. Have neck trouble, too. Used to see a chiropractor._

Heh. He writes like he speaks: short and to the point. 'Is your neck fixed?'

_No. Lost my job and health insurance. Going without until I get it back. _The next part wasn't written down. _I feel pathetic._

Aw, poor guy… 'That's too bad. I'm sure you'll find a new job soon, just keep your head up!' Next to my line I put a little happy face. He read it and, for the first time ever, I saw him change. It wasn't that much, in fact to most it only looked like a little twitch in the corner of his lips. But I am pretty damn positive I just saw a tiny smirk if only for a fleeting moment.

_Thanks. Does me being deaf bother you?_

'I don't see how it could.' It was truthful because I had better things to be bothered about. Like his increasingly embarrassing thoughts about me. If anything, he should be bothered by me.

_Thank you._

"No problem." I only realized I said that out loud after the fact. He didn't even write his 'thank you' down yet but luckily his eyes were on the white page and he didn't notice my slip up. It was enough to make my ears burn and suddenly all I wanted to do was leave. I got his attention with a quick gesture in his field of vision and brought it to my face. "Hey, I'm going to get going…I have to be somewhere."

He gave me a blank look as he processed my soundless words. He then nodded slowly and I picked up my book to put back on the shelf. It would be here when I came back tomorrow.

_I hope I didn't do anything to make him want to go._

I left the library feeling a little suffocated and guilty for making Berwald think it was something he did. I don't even know why I wanted to leave just then, I could have continued as if nothing happened and everything would have been fine. But something didn't feel fine in my gut. And I always follow my gut.

000

The next day I was not expecting to see Berwald already at a table in the middle of the room flipping through some pages. He never showed up twice in a row, always in little intervals a few days apart. But he was just here yesterday so why is he…

Like I had to ask. I didn't even need to read his mind to know that he was here to meet with me.

I had a choice to make. It would be so easy to walk back out without him ever knowing I was there…just a few little steps backwards and I could go to the other library for the day. But that would leave Berwald here waiting and who knows how long he's been waiting already. Wait, why do I even care? He can wait all he wants. I wasn't doing a very good job of getting him to back off, but that was due to his lack of behavior that would merit a 'leave me alone' so far. I couldn't just tell him off without a fair reason. For the third time, curse my polite nature!

I didn't get a chance to choose because Berwald glanced up to find me standing by the doors and invited me over with a diffident wave of his hand. I gulped and subconsciously straightened my back as I drew near. There was something about his mood today, something a little…restless.

"Ah need h'lp f'nd'n ah bo'k," he said in that low gruff voice of his. "W'ld use c'mput'rs but ah d'nno how c'll n'mbe's wo'k. L'brar'an's sc'red've m'. H'lp?"

I hardly understood any of that but was able to get the gist of it. "O-oh? Which one?" I stole a look at the book already in front of him. It was on Swedish warriors.

"No'd'c l're," he replied.

"I'm sorry?"

He narrowed his eyes, not threateningly but just concentrating, and tried again. "N'rd'c…leg'nds?"

"Like, their beliefs and things?" A nod. My finger tapped my chin as I remembered where I have seen that subject in my countless escapades through the shelves. I often stayed away from the informational ones but there was no way I couldn't at least remember the call numbers. Berwald's interests were forever changing from colonial America to feudal Japan. It was amazing how much he soaked up information and liked to learn. Perhaps he should pursue a job as a historian, or maybe a history teacher. Er, maybe that last one would be a little hard for someone who can hardly speak much less lecture. But still, if he hired a translator then perhaps it could work.

"Let's see…that would be over there I think." I pointed and he got up to follow me leaving his open book behind. The section was in a corner and down a long narrow space of stocked shelves that ended at the wall and I expertly scanned the call numbers for the subject. "Here we are. This is pretty much everything on nonfiction Vikings the library has. Go nuts!" He thanked me in sign and did just that. I watched his fingers trail over the book bindings as he read them, but his mind wasn't repeating the titles or judging them on their content.

_How do I ask him…?_

Uh oh. This wasn't just an average visit, then. He was planning something…I had to get out of there.

"Looks like you have everything under control here. I'll just be going…"

"T'no?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and was forced to turn around. Damnit! "…Yes?"

"Ah…was w'nder'n if yah got pla's Sa'urdah."

"S-Saturday?" I clarified. He grunted a yes. "Oh, um…I think I might be working that day."

"On Sa'urdah?"

"Yes, I work from my home. I'm a web designer, you see, and…I just got a new client…" That wasn't a lie, but what I didn't say was how far away the deadline was.

"Hm." He understood but I could sense his disappointment. "Was w'nder'n if yah l'ke c'ncerts. Was g'nna go wit' ah fr'nd, he bail'd." Berwald has a friend? I would never have guessed. The only people he's ever thought about around me was some guy named Mathias who apparently pissed him off, Lukas whom he was rather indifferent about, and someone else related to Lukas, I think.

"Wait, how do you go to concerts when you can't hear?" I asked. He shrugged and looked away slightly.

"Ah fe'l the mus'c." _I want to do something that you will enjoy._

"Oh. Well, thanks for asking but I don't really do well in crowds."

Berwald raised an eyebrow. "Claws'rofob'c?" I think that meant 'claustrophobic.'

"Something like that. I hope you find someone to go with, don't want that extra ticket to go to waste."

"Hm." He nodded and went back to the shelf. I took that as my chance to excuse myself and grab something at random on my way back.

Alright Tino, its time to step up. Who cares if you are rude, you HAVE to do something about this! Berwald just asked you on a date. A DATE! He's obviously not leaving you alone or losing interest which means it is up to YOU to get him off your back. Enough is enough, it is too risky to be involved with other people on that level! They usually find out and call you a freak. You don't want Berwald calling you a freak, do you? Wait…why should I care what some random guy I met a few times in the library thinks of me? So what. He'll go about his life, I'll return to mine, the end.

000

My mission wasn't going so well. I sat down in one of the big comfy chairs isolated from the rest to 'read' and Berwald came back with his book. He then dropped it on the table next to his other one and got to reading. Not much else happened that day and we parted like usual.

It was five days later on Friday when Berwald came back to the library shortly after I arrived for the later afternoon. I could hear his thoughts a mile away, as if my mind was trained to pick his out over the others somehow, and frowned at them. Something was obviously wrong.

_What am I going to do? Will I lose everything?_

That didn't sound good. I couldn't help but feel a little worried, though something deep inside reminded me of my goal. Ignore him. Eventually he has to leave.

_I have no where else to go…except maybe Mathias's place. Ugh. _

…Just because I have to ignore him on the outside, I don't have to on the inside. I was curious of what he was going on about and a little concerned. His mind felt like pure turmoil and stress, not to mention hopelessness.

_I still have to pay my chiropractic bills, I wonder if I can sell my car…but I sort of need that to get a job. Unless I take the bus. It would save me gas money and auto insurance…but where will I live? If I lose my house and my car, I'll have no choice but to move in with Mathias and Lukas. I guess I'm just lucky enough they offered…_

The man stopped at the turn in box and looked around. I glued my eyes to my book as if I didn't notice and expected him to walk right on over like he always did. I was in for a surprise that day. His gaze landed on me for only a moment before he reluctantly turned around and walked back from where he came with a mental sigh.

_There's Tino…I don't know why I even bother. I mean, he knows nothing about me and I don't know much about him, we hardly talk…granted that is my fault, but still. Tino is probably straight or not looking for a relationship. With my luck he's already taken. Might as well save myself from losing what I never had. He deserves better than me anyway. All I can do is scare everyone away._

Berwald was so down on himself that I nearly shed a tear. Wow, what happened to make him so depressed? He was so determined and hopeful a few days ago and now he was reduced to…this. Something major was going on with him and I couldn't stop my body from moving to find out what. I ditched my book and speed-walked out of the library, then broke out into a jog as I entered the parking lot. It didn't take long to spot Berwald's mop of blonde hair over the roofs of cars and I called to him like an idiot. He's deaf, Tino, you have to catch him!

My pace picked up until I was running and I just caught up as he rounded the side of his deep blue sedan. He saw me coming and stopped frozen in place with surprise. "T'no?"

"H-hey, Berwald!" I greeted through my breath. I wasn't panting but it was enough to reveal how out of shape I was. "Um, I saw you come in. Were you just going to leave without saying hi?" What the HELL was I doing? This was what I was waiting for, wasn't it? I was waiting for Berwald to give up and move on no matter what I had to do! I even practiced for this moment and now I was screwing it all up by getting a little sympathetic and worried. But it looked like he wouldn't be coming back if I didn't do something and he was at the end of his rope. I didn't want to be the end of his rope…

"Ah…hey, T'no," he said in that strange broken way of his. I could hear the questioning in his voice. "Ah c'me tah drop off s'me bo'ks. Got s'ff tah do, can't stay." Thanks to my sixth sense I knew this was a lie. He wanted to stay, truly, but there was a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him not to. It was saying a lot of stuff about me.

"Oh, right. Well…" I searched his expressionless face and tapped my chin as if pondering something. "Are you okay, Berwald? You seem a little off today."

"Hm?" the man raised an eyebrow. _How can he tell? Nobody else can. Does he pay enough attention that he…no, no. Even my own mother couldn't figure me out so easily. I just need to go._

Before he had a chance to excuse himself I spoke up. I admit, I was a little panicky. Something about him leaving in his current mindset put a bad feeling in my gut. And I always trust my gut. "Yes, uh…I'm not sure how to explain it but…did something happen?"

_Wow…he's good. Do I really look different today?_ He glanced at the rearview mirror of his car, which wasn't brand new but alright, then went back to staring down at me when he saw nothing different. I felt like I was cracking under those intense eyes but held my ground. "N…no, ah jus'…" _I don't want to bother him with my problems. If he knows my house is foreclosing, he'll think I'm a loser._

H-house foreclosing? But why? I never had an inkling of this in the month I've known him that he was in any huge financial crisis! Except, you know, not having a job. But losing his house? That was a very recent development. But why was he losing his home, and why now? "Are you sure you can't stay for a minute? I…I found a great book on Vikings that I thought you might enjoy and…" Wow, I sure think quickly on my toes. With any luck he'll buy that.

Another quirk of his eyebrow. _I'm not sure what this means. Are we…friends? Tino spent the time to find me a book, he must think of me as at least an acquaintance. This is so hard, if only I could look into his mind and see what he's thinking!_ Talk about irony, huh? Still, I sucked in a breath and made up my mind. I wasn't going to let Berwald think he had nothing left, so I guess…I had to change my plan a little bit. He has too kind of a heart to be left with absolutely nothing. I knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I let him go like that.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is meh. But it picks up in the next one…<strong>

**EXCERPT:**

**The Good Healer**** by Dimitrije Medenica**


	4. Chapter 4

"Alright, spill it," I said. My arms were crossed and eyes narrowed into the best glare I could make, though judging by Berwald's reaction it wasn't very good.

_Cute._

Focus on interrogating him, Tino, don't blush like a dumb girl!

I was able to convince Berwald to come inside, if only for a minute, to see the 'awesome Viking book' I found. Yeah, that was a small fib. And he knew it, too. But I lead him to the back where the books on that subject usually resided anyway. It was a nice secluded place where he could feel safe about opening up and revealing just what the heck was going on. It took a minute of prodding but I finally made some progress. Berwald was about to snap, I could feel it.

The man looked at me for a moment, I tried not to show any sign of weakness, and he let out a long breath of air. His hand went up to rub the back of his neck and he looked to the side. "S'n'th'n, ah'm jus' go'n th'ough s'me ha'd t'mes." Interrogation would go smoother if I could understand everything he was saying. At least his mind gave me some better detail. _I'm losing everything._

"What is happening?" I asked. He looked back and I had to repeat it so he could see my lips move. This was going to take forever, if only I had a piece of paper or something. Oh, and a jack hammer to break his pride.

"L'ndlo'd s'opped pay'n. B'nk's fo'clos'n. Ah rent, ah'm be'n ev'cted." _I was cheated by some dirt bag who took my rent and didn't pay the mortgage. Then he up and disappeared, and I just got a letter from the bank that I need to move out by the end of the month and that all of this has been happening for two years without me knowing!_

If only this was the first time I've heard of this kind of thing. Honestly, I've heard the same story from quite a few people lately. Times are tough and it is hard to know who you can trust these days. Berwald sure was holing a lot in. I could tell he wanted to get it out and rant to someone, anyone, maybe blow off some steam. But he didn't. He kept it all inside…like he had a choice, anyway. I'm the only one who understands him and he can't even know it.

"Oh my…that's terrible!" I said. I let my sympathy wash over my face. "Do you know what you are going to do?"

"Nah. Fa'her lives'n Swed'n, doesn't w'nt m'. No job." He seemed surprised that I was so concerned. Honestly, so was I. "Have ah…fr'nd." An image of the Mathias guy flashed through his head. Not the best feelings about him followed suit. "W'll let m' stay on'is couc' fer 'while. W'll on'y do it wors' case."

"You don't like this 'friend' of yours, do you?" Berwald shook his head. "Wow, I'm sorry. I'm assuming the job hunt isn't going so well either, huh?" Another shake of his head.

_They say everyone has equal opportunity to be employed. That's bullshit. As soon as they know I'm deaf, my resume gets tossed out the window as if they think I can't do anything. I'm perfectly capable of anything, but nobody will give me a chance! It has been like this way before I became deaf. People take one look at my face and assume things about me._

"The world can be…cruel," I said softly. My back leaned against the books behind me and I tried to think of something to say. But what? 'Keep your head up?' 'Don't stop trying?' Nobody likes stupid clichéd encouragement like that.

At the moment he was reflecting on a lot of things that made me wince. As a child, everyone stayed away from the really big scary kid. Sometimes they even made fun of him. As he grew it only got worse. Just as he was starting to make a good life for himself and be somewhat content, the accident happened and he lost more than his hearing. There was a face that was followed with thoughts of regret and anger. She was pretty, she was…somehow evil. I wanted to know more about that but his mind went on. He was alone for rehabilitation, so alone that he gravitated towards anyone that wasn't scared away by his scary face or put off by his deafness. They ended up using him most of the time. Sometimes Berwald wouldn't even care. …No, he cared. He just told himself that he didn't.

"T'no?" I looked up when I realized I had zoned out while watching his short confusing glimpses of a summed-up life. There was a feeling on my cheek under my eye. It was Berwald's thumb wiping away something I didn't know was there: a tear. His face remarkably remained the same kind of stoic but I could see the worry in his eyes.

Alright, before you go around calling me a baby about how one sob story can make me cry, you HAVE to realize that when I read people's minds I'm not only listening to their thoughts but feeling them as well. His pain and frustration became mine and when you force all of that onto someone who isn't hardened to deal with it all at once, it is a little too much to handle. Berwald didn't know that, though. I looked like a damned fool.

"O-oh! Sorry, I mean…I have allergies to dust and we are in a library and this happens from time to time, it just means my eyes are dry or…or…" He wasn't understanding anything I was saying. My lips were moving too fast for him to read and he silenced me by putting his finger to them.

"M'sorry, ah didn't mean tah…" _This is why I should have left. Tino really is sensitive, isn't he?_

"No, no, no! I'm the one who is sorry, I shouldn't be prying so much anyway."

"Ah made ya c'y."

"No, I just…" I shook my head. There really wasn't much I could say. So I told him the truth which was conveniently what he wanted to hear. "Berwald, you don't deserve any of that to happen to you. None of this is your fault so don't think for a second that you are pathetic, because you aren't." Berwald nodded slowly. He wasn't completely sure what to make of my words.

_He hardly knows anything, but it is like he understands somehow… This is why it is so hard to stop myself from coming here. I know I don't have much of a chance with him, but he's just so…amazing. He didn't run away the first time I spoke to him. He knows what I'm saying most of the time and it's like he can read me when nobody else can. How can someone like Tino exist?_

He cleared his throat. "Th'nk ya, T'no. Me'ns ah lot." _More than you know._

"No problem, I meant it. I hope you have much better luck soon. Don't lose hope in anything, okay?" I gave him a pat on the shoulder and a smile and he nodded back. "You have your buddy Tino to talk to if you need it. But next time, we'll stick to pen and paper."

For the second time his strong façade broke for a quick second to give me a smile. Well…what qualifies for a smile for Berwald, anyway. It was my only warning before he stepped forward into my comfort zone and gave me a cautiously loose hug around the shoulders. I could hear his thoughts clear as a bell. That is what happens when someone gets this close to me; it is like our minds are one. There was a rekindling of a flame deep in his consciousness that I felt as if it were in mine. It was a surge of emotion made mostly of hope, but also of desire. That affection he held for me was stronger than ever and it made me tense up a bit to feel it so clearly and strong.

Boy did I just screw myself over.

I lifted my arms and returned his hug carefully. I guess I'm in it for the long-haul, aren't I? I'm still not willing to let him sweep me off my feet, but I do want to be his friend. I hope he can forgive me for pretending like I'm not interested like how he is for me because I'm not fooling anyone, not even myself. I do care for this man. I like him. I like how considerate he is even though all he wants to do at this moment is press me into the shelves and crash his lips against mine and-

"O-okay, okay," I signaled that I wanted to be let go and he did so without question. His little fantasy that I picked up on abruptly ended when he told himself to get a grip and I likewise told myself not to make an embarrassing face. I think I was, though. "Um, you said you have stuff to do so I'll let you get to it. I have to get home, too." My feet turned me around and I started walking out of the little empty nook we were in. He followed and we both made our way out of the library.

_I'll do what Tino says and I won't give up, even if things seem hopeless. For him. I won't give up on Tino either. He is too amazing for me not to fight for. He's already given me the chance to be his friend so who knows what else he will do. I'll find a way. I'll get back on my feet somehow. I haven't had motivation like this in a long time and it is all thanks to him. Even if we aren't together and never will be, at least…at least I have a friend…_

000

A pattern developed shortly after that. Twice a week, sometimes thrice, Berwald would come to the library. I started to get used to his presence…mostly. There were still moments I would be shaken by his affectionate musings but I knew that would happen when I signed up to be his friend. I couldn't stop him from thinking, after all. Besides, most of the thoughts and images were…endearing.

Though he had so much to be down about he hardly ever showed it to me even in his mind. Some days he would come to the library his head muddled with worries but when he saw me they would vanish. I was his magic eraser. It made me relieved to know that my decision not to push him away was a good one even if it meant it would take longer for Berwald to move on from liking me, however long that took. Who knows where he would be right now if I hadn't of chased him down in the parking lot and give him a pep talk. It was strange being someone's motivation.

It doesn't feel like I did much, but Berwald really took my words to heart. It was funny how much he trusted me, but then again, I'm a very trustable person. The man ended up moving in with Mathias at the end of the month, which it was clear he was driving Berwald insane already, but at least he was gone half the time to spend nights at his boyfriend's place. Yes, Lukas was the annoying one's boyfriend. I found that out recently through one of Berwald's random reflections.

He was deliberately hiding the fact from me thinking that I could use it to somehow discover his sexual orientation. Berwald was so paranoid that I would judge him for something like that, which was stupid. Hell, even he admitted to himself that his thinking was flawed. I've been okay with pretty much everything about him so far so there was no reason to fear…but it was still there to keep him quiet. I desperately wanted to let him know it was okay but I couldn't think of a way to tell him without hinting at myself. Letting him know that I do consider men would only make his hope for me rise and his advances would probably get worse.

They were tiny things, just little invitations and hints that would be taken as something typical of friends to anyone else not reading his mind. I had to turn him down every time, though, knowing his intentions were not just to hang out but to attempt to get closer. He quickly changed his strategy.

"T'no," I heard behind me. I had to act like I was surprised which wasn't that hard considering what he had with him that day. A paper Starbucks cup in each hand, a small brown bag tucked between the fingers of his right, and the strong smell of coffee wafting through the air. He held them an odd way so Elizaveta wouldn't see that he smuggled food into the library and his eyes flickered towards the secluded back where shelves blocked her view. I took the hint immediately and smiled as I got up.

"Wow, you didn't have to get me anything, Ber," I said as he handed me my drink. We sat on two stools in the nonfiction section away from the librarian's eyes. And yes, we had nicknames for each other. Friends can have nick names. "What's the occasion?" I asked because of the small feeling of victory welling up inside him. Did he finally get a job or something?

"None. Ah w'nted tah," he said. _Success! If I can't get him out for coffee, I'll bring the coffee to him._

Fucking hell, it was a plot all along! He's crafty, I'll give him that. Looks like I wasn't able to avoid this one. Technically he hasn't gotten me out yet.

"Ah, well then…thanks again. What is in the bag?" I pointed. He opened it and let me see inside. My mouth began watering immediately. "Gingerbread! Woah, and it's still warm!"

"Hm. Chris'm's's come'n."

"It sure is. Thanks." Was I thanking him too much? It kinda felt like it. Maybe I was just nervous. I had to try my best to play this off as casual as possible. "So how goes life in your new temporary residence?" He didn't recognize one or two words so I switched to our much easier paper and pencil method. I tended to carry them around with me just in case these days. As usual, he thought the words while he wrote.

_Annoying. Mathias is an idiot._

'Ah…well at least you have Lukas, right?'

_Sometimes. He comes over a lot but if he isn't there and I want help, I have to go to the other side of the complex._

'Doesn't Mathias go to Lukas's place?'

_Weekends and some weekdays he spends the night over there. _Berwald abruptly stopped and mulled over the conversation. _Does that sound too much like a couple? Perhaps I've said too much._

'You have that, then! I take it you have no response from any of your job searches yet.'

_Nope. Got a call back. Interview on Monday._

'That's great! Is it a good one?'

_Ikea. Not best, but okay._

'It's something.'

_Yes. How have you been? Any new clients?_

'Yes, actually. A man in Estonia named Eduard hired me for his website design. He sells computer software and is a real tech nerd. We are friends and we talk online a lot.'

_Is it okay to make friends with your clients?_

'Of course! I'm my own boss, I make my own rules. It hasn't failed me yet and making friends usually opens doors. Eduard sent an acquaintance of his to me. He's a guy in Italy who's thinking about having a website for his restaurant. I might just get another client soon. Yay money!'

_I'm glad he does okay; at least one of us does. My unemployment sure doesn't help my chances with him._ Ignore it, Tino…Focus on what he is writing. _I'm surprised you don't have a part time job here at the library. You are here so much._

'Actually I did at the one by the pawn shop on main street. But I got fired because I was…distracted.'

_Distracted?_

I shrugged. 'I would read the books instead of sort them.'

A sound made me look up from the bite of gingerbread cookie I was having after handing the paper off. It was…a laugh. I've heard the man laugh in his head before but never in real life! You would think a guy like him with such a low rumbling voice would have a deep throaty laugh, but his was surprisingly light and airy. Even more amazing was how his face broke from its stern gaze and he was actually smiling, like, more than just a little twitch! It didn't last very long, though. He noticed I was staring at him as if I'd just seen a unicorn.

_Is he okay? Did I scare him?_

I grabbed the paper back and quickly scribbled something down. 'Wow, you laughed! I've never heard that before.' I smiled to reassure him. He was still a little wary about my reaction.

_Is it okay?_

'Of course it is! You should do it more often.'

Berwald remained motionless for a second. _…He likes my laugh. I like it when he laughs, too. It is a sign that we are meant to be._ That made me have to bite my lip and stifle a chuckle of my own. His thoughts weren't serious, thank goodness; it was more of a joke with himself than anything.

"What do you two think you two are doing?" I whirled around to see Elizaveta with her hands on her hips at the end of the bookshelves. Shit, we'd been caught red handed! "Tino, you know there is no eating or drinking inside the library."

"O-oh, yes! Of course, I'm sorry," I got up quickly nearly spilling my drink and Berwald followed suit. He was able to catch from Elizaveta's steamed look and my guilty one that we were in trouble. "It won't happen again."

"I should hope not. From someone like Berwald I could expect it but from you? Tsk." _He looks like a rule breaker. Come to think of it, I should probably check the stuff he turns in for damage or something._

"Hold on, Eli," I said. There was something about the way she was thinking about Berwald that I didn't like. "What do you mean you'd expect that from Berwald?"

She gave him a quick glance and he looked at her in return. Berwald didn't quite know what we were talking about, just that it was something about him. He was behind me and unable to see my lips while I talked but he could see the librarian's. Elizaveta didn't feel any danger in speaking her mind in front of the deaf man. She didn't know he can understand. "Well…look at him. If I didn't know better I'd say he's on FBI's most wanted list or something."

"He hasn't done anything to make you think that, has he? He always returns his books on time and is quiet in the library. Berwald never makes trouble or does anything bad. Er, save for today…but that's my fault too."

_He's kind of right but I still don't trust him. I bet he uses his deafness to get away with things._ "Woman's intuition, sweety. Sometimes we can just tell when someone is going to be trouble. Now go eat outside if you have to and come back when you are done. I'm only giving you a warning this time but I expect better from you, Tino." The brunette gave me a stern wag of her finger as I and my friend passed her and made our way to the exit. I was feeling a little peeved about her assumptions on Berwald. You would think being a librarian would teach her not to judge a book by its cover. In her mind she was right and was waiting for one little slip up to prove it. She was already starting to think he was a bad influence on me just because we decided to break one silly rule.

The air outside was fresh but a tad cold. I had my jacket on and I zipped it up to my neck to keep out the chill. Berwald did the same, though his coat was a military-esque light blue wool button-up with a matching black scarf. It looked pretty good on him and the color matched his eyes. Ah, Tino, stop thinking corny thoughts like that!

…But it was true.

"Oh well. You win some, you lose some." I laughed it off hoping it would take his mind off what happened back there. It didn't, though.

_Was he defending me?_

"This is great coffee, by the way. I 'm a big coffee drinker. Want some gingerbread?" I handed him the small paper bag and he took a quick look inside before putting his hand in and fishing a cookie out. They were shaped like stars and little men.

"Th'nks."

We found a bench by the doors and sat down to get back to our conversation, though we didn't have anything to write on now so keeping it up was kind of hard to do. Outside the library was a road and I got little blips of thought randomly as the cars went by, but other than that it was okay.

"Eli doesn't l'ke m'," he said simply after swallowing a bite of his cookie. There was only a small hint of unhappiness with the statement but a big feeling of understanding. He'd been living with this kind of thing all his life so he was used to it.

"I wouldn't say that, she just doesn't know you. I'm sure if she knew you better she wouldn't be like that."

"Hard tah get p'ple tah g've m' ah ch'nce. Ah d'nno why ya did." _Though he was a little distant from me at first, Tino didn't shy away like everyone else does. I wonder why that is. He isn't blind, so how did he get past my face? And it's like he forgets that I am deaf. He treats me like a normal person, unlike many others._

"Because…" I trailed off when I realized I had absolutely no idea what to say. Usually I was good at making up excuses but this time my mind was, strangely, in a blank. Instead of answering him I faked a shiver and crossed my arms. "Brrr, it's kind of cold out here isn't it? Can't wait to get back inside and-"

If I had any warning I wouldn't have squeaked like I did. Berwald scooted over closer and took his long scarf to wrap around me. It was warm and smelled like wood shavings and cinnamon, oddly enough. The motion was so sudden that I nearly fell off the bench before he could finish wrapping it around my shoulders. What? I'm used to hearing a warning of some kind before this kind of thing happened! After being used to not having to pay attention to my environment my whole life, it made me a little jumpy when things were unexpected. Berwald didn't spare a single thought before he acted on impulse. It was a kind gesture, but…

It made my cheeks feel warmer than they should have. And Berwald was staring at my face waiting for me to continue what I forgot I was saying so he definitely noticed it. _Am I too close?_ He considered moving away a little but something stopped him. His eyes grew more curious behind reflective lenses and he didn't budge. In fact, I think he leaned in a millimeter or so more. _Ah, but he's so cute like this…he's turning pink. What will happen if I stay like this?_

What will happen? I'll give you a big punch in the eye, that's what will happen! "U-uh, thank you, Berwald," I mumbled into the loose cloth over my mouth. At the time I didn't remember that he had to read my lips and he couldn't see them through the scarf so he stayed put waiting for some kind of response. The seconds ticked by like decades while we sat on the bench, shoulder to shoulder, him staring intently at my face and me looking anywhere but his. My mind was racing. The little gesture of giving me his scarf wasn't what was making me almost sick to my stomach. It was how he did it.

There are hardly any times when people don't think about something before doing it. Only incredibly habitual things like how to chew your food don't require recognition to be done. It is engraved in your body; therefore your brain doesn't have to worry. People don't even notice it, but I do. Berwald giving me his scarf was a motion that was, quite literally, a part of him.

And that is how I know the sign of love. Most people see it as someone who thinks of them always, but I know better. Real love is when someone doesn't have to think about you. You are already so engraved into their life that it is completely habitual to care for the other without having to spare a single fleeting thought. There are no decisions to be made, no conflict, no plan B. Just do.

Berwald…

Loves…

Me…

And the sad part is: He doesn't even know it.

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><p><strong>The Nordics are the largest consumers of coffee in the world with Finland in second and Sweden in fourth. Just a little fun fact for ya to break up the tension.<strong>

**Alright, things are FINALLY starting to pick up! Thank you so much for all the love I've been getting for this story. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am snowed in. There is nothing to do. I'M SURE YOU GUYS ARE HAPPY ABOUT THIS, HUH?**

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><p>My coat hit the ground and was sprawled out over the floor where it landed. I didn't bother picking it up or arranging my shoes by the door like I usually did. They were kicked off to settle somewhere without care while my feet kept moving.<p>

They brought me past my meager living room and kitchen. The house I lived in was small but it was nice and secluded just outside of town down a long driveway, therefore was my own personal recluse. The silence around me was golden, it was beautiful, and it was mine. It was what I needed right now after a long day of noise and…and…_feelings _that weren't even mine.

Berwald was starting to love me. All this time, these two or so months of waiting for his crush on 'little Tino' to ebb away and for him to lose interest, it was all for naught. It was stronger than ever. It was turning into goddamned love. How do you fight against love? You can't! Not without hurting the other, and…and…

I really don't want to hurt Berwald.

It was dawning on me that this wasn't going to go away on its own like I had hoped. The whole thing with Berwald was escalating to a level I was not comfortable with. Love? How do I deal with that? I've never been loved before! I've been in what I thought was love, but you know how that one turned out. She left me, called me a freak, and nearly ruined my life. And while I don't see Berwald as being someone who would do that, I just…I'm too afraid of it happening again.

I sat down heavily in the chair at my desk in my small office room and set my head down in my arms. Ohhhh I had a headache. And a stomach ache. And a…fuck it, I just ached all over. Especially my chest. Perhaps the worst part of this whole thing was how I had to ignore how I thought about it all. Funny how someone else's head takes priority over my own.

With nothing else to do other than wallow in my own little pity party, I sighed and turned on my computer tower without so much of a glance. The big button clicked and the whir of the machine became the only sound in the room. Soon it was mere background noise and my brain adjusted to ignoring the constant hum, making my world silent once again…oh how I wanted to switch bodies with Berwald right now. I have the problem of hearing too much and he hears too little. It sounds like heaven to me.

After a minute of loading, my computer speakers suddenly pinged. I looked up at the screen to see that Eduard was online and messaging me over Skype.

**Ed:** hey, tino! i've been waiting for u 2 get on. got an idea for the website. :-)

I reluctantly put my fingers on the keyboard and tapped out my response. I just wanted a little alone time, I hoped he could understand.

**Tino: **hey ed. sorry, you'll have to tell me later. little busy.

**Ed:** with what? this is srsly a great idea!

**Tino:** personal things. need some time alone to think right now…you know how it is.

**Ed:** aw, r u stressed? i told u we can move the finishing date back if u have 2 much on ur plate right now

**Tino:** it's fine. i'll have it done on time, no worries.

**Ed:** wow, you really seem down

**Tino:** how can you tell?

**Ed: **u use more emotes when ur happy

**Ed:** wanna talk about it?

I stared at my screen for a moment before starting my reply. I was about to say no, but a piece of me kind of wanted to say yes. I erased what I had typed and started again. Why not? He's halfway around the world, what harm could it do? In my experience of watching others I learned that talking to people about your problems does tend to help no matter how much it hurts your ego or pride.

**Tino:** i guess.

**Ed:** k. so what ales u?

**Tino:** well…there is a person who likes me.

**Ed:** ooohhhh one of those.

**Ed:** go on.

**Tino:** …right. so this person likes me and doesn't know i know. and I like them but they don't know that either.

**Ed:** this is getting good

**Tino:** no, it's bad. they like me a lot more than I like them…a lot.

**Ed:** so u r wondering if u should go for it?

**Ed:** there should be no question! do it, tino!

**Tino:** you don't even know the whole story!

**Ed:** the rest of it doesn't matter

**Ed:** (unless the person might be bad. in that case don't take the chance on a drug runner or something)

**Ed:** BUT if you like them and c urself liking them more if u got with them, then do it

**Tino:** i wish it was that easy

**Ed:** y shouldn't it b? nothing else matters if u 2 both like each other like that. Wut u gotta ask urself is:

**Ed:** r u willing to try 2 like them more? can u see urself liking them the way they like u?

**Tino:** …

**Ed:** oh, and so we r on the same page, the other luvs u doesn't he?

**Tino:** yeah, I think he does

**Ed:** and it's a man, too

**Tino:** how did you know?

**Ed:** read the above PMs. u said he. :P

**Tino:** fuck

**Tino:** well you don't seem to be bothered.

**Ed:** don't worry

**Ed:** my bro is gay. i'm supportive

**Tino:** wow, that's great! :) what a lucky brother you have. i wish i had that luck.

**Ed:** did ur family flip out 'cause ur gay?

**Tino:** no, they flipped out over other reasons.

**Ed:** i'm bi, btw

**Ed:** cool

**Ed:** so anyway

**Ed:** do u like this guy?

**Tino:** i already told you, i do.

**Ed:** and ur positive he likes u?

**Tino:** yeah

**Ed:** then y so afraid?

**Tino:** there's something about me he might not like

**Ed:** like?

**Tino:** something he might hate me for. we'll leave it at that.

**Ed:** sounds like u had a bad experience. listen:

**Ed:** u can ask urself how it will turn out and plot everything out all u want but in the end it is how it is. how will u know if u never try? u don't want 2 b alone 4ever and if u keep up that attitude u will b. besides, if he rlly luvs u then he won't care about wutever it is u think is so bad.

Eduard made a lot of sense. I mean, it felt like I already knew all of this but hearing it kind of helped.

**Ed:** not the end of the world if it doesn't work out. u will regret it more if u don't try.

**Tino:** …

**Tino:** okay, i'll think about it. thanks, ed.

**Ed:** wuts a friend for :-)

**Ed:** so u feeling better now? wanna know my idea?

000

It was Monday. Berwald had an interview at Ikea. I was standing outside of the library blowing air into my hands to warm them up while I waited for him to show. I knew this would be the first place the man went after the interview because…well, I just knew. I guess it comes with the telepathy thing.

He knows my library schedule and what time of day I am here so he can conveniently drop by and run into me. This time I showed up a couple minutes early mostly because I was nervous and didn't want to take the chance of him already being here when I arrived. My eyes kept flicking to the watch on my wrist every minute or two. I was anxious. That was okay, as long as I could get it under control before Berwald showed up.

One thirty six. He usually got here around one. Did his interview run late? Was it even a morning interview? Wow I'm stupid! I completely forgot to take in account that his interview could be scheduled on top of when we normally meet up. He could of come by earlier or was planning his library trip afterwards. No, that didn't sound right. Berwald always came to the library at the same time I did or not at all.

"T'no?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard that familiar voice to my right. Of course the one time I'm not paying attention he appears out of nowhere! "Oh! Hello, Ber…wald."

Why did I pause just then? Because I got a good look at him. Berwald hadn't changed out of his fancy duds for the interview and was wearing black slacks and a faintly striped white button-up dress shirt, un-tucked, with a navy blue tie around his neck just a little loosened up for better breathing. Behind him was a matching jacket he must have been wearing earlier but was now flung over his shoulder and held in place with one hand without much care, his other hand casually tucked into his pants pocket. His glasses were different, these ones a little more rounded at the corners. His blonde hair was brushed back nicely and he was more striking overall. It is amazing what wearing certain clothes can do to a person.

"H'llo," he greeted back, breaking me from my trance. He gave me a small wave and I wiggled my fingers back.

"Hi…" Pull yourself together, Tino, you already said hi!

"Were ya wait'n ou' h're?"

"Y-yes! I was waiting. For you."

"M'?" the man blinked. _Why would he wait outside for me? It is cold out here. It must be important. Or maybe…no, don't go there._

"Yes, you." I gave him a smile and shoved my freezing hands into my coat pockets. "I was wondering how the interview went. Good? Bad?"

He looked up slightly and scratched his head. "Not s're. Th'nk it was 'kay. Ran a 'ittle l'ng."

"That so? Well, I say we celebrate that it wasn't a total disaster!" if he had said no, I would've said 'let's go cheer you up!' or something. 'Why' wasn't the issue at the moment. From my pocket I brought out a ticket, then twisted my fingers to show him I actually had two. Berwald took one from my outstretched hand and read it, pushing his glasses slightly higher on his nose and crinkling it for a second as he did.

"Mu'eum?"

"Yeah. There's this new exhibit that came out today about Rome and it looks really cool. I want to go, but it is in the next town over and I don't have a car, and I'm not really confident I can take the bus all the way there by myself…so I thought, 'hey! Berwald likes history stuff, I bet he'd like to come too!' so I got you a ticket, and…" I was rambling. I cleared my throat and started over. "I-I mean, do you want to go?" Like I thought he would say no. Berwald nodded his head immediately and his eyes brightened up considerably. Wow, was he really that happy?

_I can't believe this, Tino has never asked me to go anywhere with him before! I've never been out of the library with him. I wonder what he's like? Well, probably the same…but somehow it feels different. And he waited out here for me in the cold just to ask. I don't want to get ahead of myself, I mean this isn't actually a date, but…I want to make the best of this. I hope I can be good company and he invites me again. Maybe I can invite him somewhere now. I wonder why he always said no before..._

I cut his thoughts off with a clap of my hands and a big smile. "Let's get going, shall we?"

"C'n we t'ke the bu'?" he asked. "Not m'ch g's m'ney." _I can't watch his lips while I'm driving._

"Sure! I was planning on that anyway. Let's drop your car off at my place, the bus we need to catch goes from there and we have some time."

"Hm." _He's inviting me to his house, too? Am I dreaming? Yes, I'm probably dreaming._

You wouldn't believe how excited Berwald was. I mean, you couldn't tell at all on the outside but inside he was jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store. It was making me feel a little bouncy, too. I called the effect 'emotional runoff.' Clever, right?

We went to his car which wasn't parked too far away and he unlocked his door. He had to unlock mine from the inside and I watched him stretch over the passenger seat to hit the button. Our eyes on opposite sides of the glass met for a moment and I could feel a slight squeeze in my chest…or his chest…I'm not so sure. Maybe both. I opened the door and took a seat. It was comfortable and clean inside, though it was apparent the vehicle wasn't brand new. The glove compartment was open, Berwald explained that the lock was broken thanks to Mathias, and inside I saw something I wasn't expecting in a deaf man's car: an iPod Classic.

"Is that your roommate's?" I asked as I put my seatbelt on. He shook his head.

"Nah. M'ne. Ah use it so p'ple don' fuss wh'n ah don' 'nswer." _Of course, not many people want to bother me anyway._

"Oh, clever." I got an image of Berwald with his headphones in and wondered what kind of music he listened to before the crash. I never got to ask, though, we started driving and the only communication I really got with him was pointing which ways to go to get to my house.

By now I bet you are wondering what the hell I'm doing and what brought this about. Well, over the weekend I thought it over, made lists of pros and cons, and bashed my head against a wall until I came to a decision. This outing was designed to gage whether I could see myself eventually loving him like he does me. I know that I in fact like him very much, but…a piece of me was wondering what going out with him would be like. I had to pretend that this was a date without him knowing so I could get a hint at what life could be. At the end of it I would make a decision: to tell or not to tell.

Obviously I learned my lesson about keeping my biggest secret from those I date: it wouldn't end well. So I had to tell Berwald about my…ability. Then it would be up to him. Either he would see past it and still like me or he would run out of here as fast as he could and I would never see him again. It was a fifty-fifty chance.

This has gone on long enough and I can't keep living this way. Something has to change so I can move on, and nothing will unless I act. I just hope the change won't kill me…

000

Berwald turned his car off and parked it in front of my modest home. I was kind of wondering what he'd think of it, but I guess I was more interested in what he was willing to say out loud. Already he couldn't get over how small it looked and how long the driveway was. It was long enough so that I didn't hear the commotion of traffic and that I was the only one around. If I tried hard enough I could reach the thoughts of my closest neighbor who shared my driveway and was closer to the road, but why would I want to do that? Sure my place was small but I liked it. It was home.

"'S nice," he said as we got out.

"Thanks." That's it? I mean, I wasn't expecting him to go on a speech about how much he likes my yard work or anything, but that was still very short even for him. Luckily for me, I have a window into his mind.

_This is where Tino lives? It is…small. But it looks well cared for, perhaps he doesn't need that much space. I know I do._

Good. He doesn't hate it.

"I'm going to run inside and grab my gloves before we leave, okay?" Berwald nodded and followed me to my house. He stayed in the open doorway and watched me disappear down the hall, I could hear his thoughts buzzing as he took in my place.

_It seems a little bigger on the inside, so that is good. Not much in here other than the usual couch and TV. It doesn't look like he puts much thought to guests…come to think of it, the only friends I've ever heard him talk about are online. But that doesn't make sense; Tino is such a friendly person. How could he have no friends in the area? He isn't new here or anything._

I hoped he didn't ask me anything about it when I got back because I don't really have a plausible answer for him. If today goes well I'll be able to tell him the truth, but only if it goes well…

I came back pulling my light blue gloves on to see him leaning in the doorway fiddling with his tie while he waited. His gaze never left me as I approached, as usual. "Ready to go?"

"Hm." Before we disembarked for the walk down my long driveway he opened his car door again and threw in his untied tie, then traded his work jacket for a nice coat. He wouldn't need to look too fancy where we were going. Berwald locked his door and we started our trek to the road where the bus stop is.

At first it was a little quiet. The gravel under our feet crunched and a cool breeze ruffled the mostly bare trees above, making a few stragglers fall to the ground. The sky was white overcast but didn't show any sign of raining. It was peaceful and tranquil; even Berwald's mind was on autopilot and was admiring the scenery like me.

But I kind of didn't want that at the moment.

"Hey Berwald," I poked him in the arm to get his attention. He looked down and gave me that look he always does when focusing on my lips as if he were going to rip my head off. Thank goodness I knew better. "How long did it take you to learn sign language? Was it hard?"

He shook his head. "Nah…jus' lot'ah m'moriz'n. St'll learn'n new w'rds. Like learn'n any 'ther l'ngu'ge ah g'ess. L'p re'd'n is ha'der."

"Oh. Well, I ask because I was thinking about learning a thing or two in sign. You know, so we can talk better."

"Ya se'm tah unde'st'nd m' jus' fine."

"Yeah but you don't understand me as well."

_Ain't that the truth. _"A'r'ght. Ah c'n show ya s'meth'ng."

I gave him a big smile. "Great!"

_Cute. _"Th's is h'llo." He made a motion with his right hand kind of like a salute and a wave. I mimicked him but he shook his head. "R'ght h'nd."

"It makes a difference which hand you use?"

"Hm." So I did it again, this time with the proper hand. "Go'd."

"Aw, that means hello in any language! Teach me something else."

Berwald put his hand to his chin and brought it down so his palm was facing the sky. "Th'nk ya." I followed his example. Then he made another sign like a half circle swish from his chest to upper stomach. "Ya welc'me."

This went on for awhile. We walked and signed, I laughed when I messed something up or found a particular movement amusing. I could see that little twitch in the corner of his mouth, not to mention his greatly amused thoughts. He was enjoying this about as much as I was.

I was just learning how to say 'make me a sandwich' when something came out of nowhere and hit me in the face. I didn't know what it was and…remember that bit about me being rather jumpy? Well you can guess what I did: I jumped.

"YAH!" the thing that hit me was latched onto my face, gripping me by my hair, and I was one hundred percent sure I felt some kind of teeth on my skin. I couldn't see a thing and I latched onto my friend for dear life, begging for him to help get whatever-it-was off before it devoured me. I was in real trouble, but strangely enough Berwald wasn't doing anything! Except…

The sound of laughter made me stop. Finally the thing was removed from my face so I could see what it was. In Berwald's fingers was a…a leaf. A fucking big blood red leaf, with razor sharp serrated edges and…oh, who am I kidding. It was your average flimsy leaf that fell from a tree and hit me in the face. How pathetic. _Tino scares so easily._

"O-oh! It was just…ahahah…" I tried to laugh it off and swallow my beating heart back down to where it belonged. I realized I still had Berwald's arm in a death grip and I unlatched myself from it feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Really, you would think I saw a ghost just now. "It startled me, that's all!"

"R'ght." Berwald had a smirk plastered to his usually unchanging face and handed my attacker to me. I threw it as hard as I could, though it was a leaf so it didn't travel far. The thing flopped to the ground a few steps away and I huffed at it. _He's like a child when he's mad. Adorable._

"…Anyway, how does that sign go again?" We started walking again and he went back to his teaching. I just got the hang of it after doing the sentence slowly when his arm went out in front of me to make me stop. He was looking at something falling to the ground a ways ahead…another leaf.

"W'tch ou'," he warned. His face was serious but there was a thought that betrayed him and told me it was a joke. That made me puff out my cheeks and cross my arms at him.

"You think you're pretty funny, don't you?" He nodded as if it were old news. _Can't help it. I want to see him make that face again._

"Well, you are." Instead of doing what he wanted, I forced myself to laugh instead. Ha! I win.

_That one is just as good._

Damnit.

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><p><strong>Tino vs leaf. It's intense.<strong>

**Fluff is fluffy like the snow piling up at my window…we have over a foot. If only I had a big strong Swede to keep me warm~ /shot/**


	6. Chapter 6

**We are working on our third foot of snow at the moment. Whoo~**

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><p>The bus ride took awhile but I hardly noticed the passage of time. Berwald and I were chatting up a storm…well, <em>I<em> was. Berwald was mostly sitting there watching my lips move pretending like he was catching it all. He liked to watch me talk even if he didn't pick up everything I said. Which was okay, because I wasn't saying anything very important anyway. When the topic of signing melted into what kind of food we liked I lost track. Berwald would say one or two things, I would shamelessly go on for minutes, that sort of thing. I tried not to but otherwise it would be an awkward lull between us the whole way there. Besides, I kind of wanted to get him talking. It seemed to be working.

I could tell some people were a little put off by his presence but they ignored it. Seeing me, the picture of innocence and non-threatening, having no problem talking to a daunting guy like Berwald eased their worries about him a little. Don't worry folks! His bark is way worse than his bite. (If he even has one.) Berwald was just happy to be there. He is a man of simple pleasures.

Our stop was up so I pulled the line. There was a ding and the bus came to a gradual halt at a bus stop just across from the museum. We got off with a few others and I pulled my coat around me a little tighter now that I was reacquainted with the chilly air. It felt like only yesterday that I was basking in the summer sun and now the ground was collecting frost in the mornings.

"Ready?" I asked after hitting the crosswalk button. He nodded and stood next to me as we waited for the little green man to light up in the box on the other side. Berwald couldn't fool me, though. His mind wasn't as quiet as his mouth was.

_I wonder if I can get him to hold my hand as we cross. After all, it is only proper to help someone with a disability cross the street. If I have to use my deafness as an excuse, so be it._

Oh no, buddy. This might be a mock-date but I'm not going to hold your hand just-

"Erk!" I made a sound in the back of my throat when I felt something grab my glove. The light just changed and I was determined to start walking fast so he wouldn't get the chance to ask, but it turns out Berwald wasn't planning on asking. He grabbed my hand and latched on, I could feel his resolve to keep it that way, and I stole a quick glance at him. He quirked an eyebrow as if questioning what I thought was wrong. I didn't have the strength to tell him no without making a fool of myself somehow.

"Ne'd h'lp."

"Heh…I didn't know being deaf made it hard to cross streets…" My arm gave a little tug as we walked over white lines in the road past waiting cars but all I got in return was a little squeeze.

_He wants me to let go but I don't want to. Tino can deal with it until we get to the sidewalk._

You little…! Great, he's getting bolder…

Finally, I sped walked Berwald to the other side of the street and he reluctantly let go. Both of us had a sense of victory but for different reasons. "Okay, I've got the tickets. The Rome part is just past the ancient Egypt section and the aquarium so we'll have plenty to look at while we go." He nodded and we entered the building. Ah, the indoor heating felt nice.

And so our adventure began.

000

It was a little different being out with Berwald compared to the library, but somehow similar. There were more people in the museum and not many of them were as relaxed as the ones from my sanctuary so their thoughts were loud and endless. I took some medication today, though. With any luck I wouldn't be getting too bad of a headache. This is how it was if I wanted to go anywhere, I was very used to it by now so no worries.

The first place we checked out was the dinosaur exhibit. It was rather extensive and well put together. Many little kids were running around and pointing at the life-like dinosaur animatronics. I used to love dinosaurs when I was little, too. In fact, I still do which is probably why I was enjoying the place. As we walked along a twisting path past a long-neck, a pterodactyl let out a call and swooped over our heads. I laughed because it really did look silly dangling from wires and looking like it was made of paper mache. Berwald wasn't really into dinosaurs much but he liked to see me smile.

Next was the Great American Wild West. Acoustic guitar could be heard playing from a speaker and there was a guide dressed up like a cowboy teaching a group of people about how they wrangled cattle all over the prairies before the railroads and fences started breaking up the land. There were all kinds of things to learn, including famous outlaws and a lot on the railroads. Berwald read a few of the signs there and decided that he was developing an interest for this time of history. I knew what kinds of books he would be checking out from the library soon.

There were lots of exhibits and activities, plenty of people enjoying them, and lots to do. Personally I'm not a history nut like Berwald but it was still easy to enjoy myself. He was having a blast…though only I could tell. To anyone else he appeared to be bored and questioning why he came. I would like it if he could smile more or at least change his facial expression…I have only seen him do it a handful of times.

There was something other than the history or being with me that was making Berwald inwardly smile. There were quite a few kids here, some brothers and sisters chased each other around between exhibits and found every little thing exciting. Berwald really likes kids which came as a surprise to me. Not that I thought he would make a bad father, but…well…I don't know. The thought of Berwald with a child on his back calling him 'Papa' was kind of endearing. I like kids too, they are fun to be around and their thoughts are honest and pure.

"Wow, they seriously mummified their cats?" I peered into the glass of a case showing a golden sarcophagus made for a small feline. "I thought that was a myth!"

"Hm," Berwald hummed and came to stand next to me. "Assoc'ated w'th E'ypt'an g'ddess Bastet," he explained.

"Cool…where does it say that?" I asked and looked around for the information he was reading from the informative museum podiums posted around the area. Berwald shook his head. "You mean you already knew that? Wow, I swear you know everything! Have you ever thought of getting a job as a historian or something?" Surprisingly the thought actually hadn't crossed Berwald's mind. He always thought of his love for history as just a hobby. "I think you should check it out. Wouldn't that be cool, to get paid for doing what you love?"

"Hm. Ah'll lo'k intah it."

"I hope you do. So are we done here, Mr. Know-it-all? The Rome exhibit is next."

As we neared the little hallway that separated the rooms I began to pick up a lot of activity…more than I was expecting. So far I was able to keep my head screwed on right for most of the day but now I was getting a little anxious about the daunting task ahead. The new exhibit was apparently very popular…there were maybe fifty to seventy people in that room. And I'm sure as many of you are aware: I do not do well with dozens of people. I wasn't expecting so many to come to the museum on a Monday afternoon just to see the new display! Of course Berwald didn't have any problems with it and kept on going while my steps started to slow.

Shit shit shit…this isn't going to be fun. But this is why we came here, I can't just bail now! I guess…I've been in larger crowds before, I can handle this…for Berwald. He was kind of excited to see it. So I took a big gulp of air and put one foot in front of the other.

The place was very new and authentic looking. From the second you step in between grand arches, it was like you just time traveled back to ancient Rome in its finest. There was a large model of the coliseum in the center as if it were brand new, a few replicas of famous statues, tons of glass cases with artifacts in them, and tall white pillars framed the room and hugged the walls. Red curtains hung from them like delicate ghosts and the floor was crafted to look like an assortment of stone slab pieces fit perfectly together. Standing on those slabs were people…tons of people. Old and young, all going from place to place to read the podiums of information and chat amongst each other. Of course what I heard the most was their heads.

Everyone was reading information and thinking about it. I was being bombarded with random flashes of images and snippets of thought at a speed that was dizzying. But I kept it all inside and willed myself to ignore as much as possible. Stay calm and don't let your mind open, Tino. Retreat as far into your own consciousness as possible, don't focus on anything but yourself. This is okay, it is just a little noisy in here. Nothing you can't handle. Think of it as an exorcize.

"T'no?" It was about then I realized someone had been calling my name. It was Berwald who waved a hand in my face and quirked an eyebrow. _He zoned out._

"O-oh, sorry about that! Just thinking of something." A woman nearby threw me a look and a few others were visibly disturbed.

_That guy is talking too loud!_

_What is his problem?_

_Hey! I've seen this kind of thing on TV…_

_I wonder how much these gold coins go for each._

_Will they let me chew gum in here?_

No, no, no! Don't pay attention, just ignore them. I guess I was yelling to be heard over the 'loud chatter' only in my ears. It was impossible to tell how loud the place actually was, it might be close to silent for all I knew. I would have to remember to keep my voice down for now on…actually, why did I need to speak at all? Berwald could understand me if I just mouthed the words instead. Then I wouldn't have to worry about being heard.

We went to the first stop in the room: a little thing about the roads of Rome and how incredible they were for their time. I tried to read the signs but it was really hard to concentrate, so I eventually gave up and pretended like I was reading them so Berwald wouldn't notice. It was working for awhile, but then…

Ah, my head! There was too much! We've been in here for ten minutes and already it was stifling. Sure I've been in crowds bigger than this but they weren't crowds of people learning and processing ideas and concepts. It was just like being back in school! You can see why I was home schooled after fifth grade. A throbbing ache in my temples made me wince and rub them a bit while Berwald was turned around. Just a little bit more of this, we have a little over half to go…just a little longer, I can hold out…

I don't think I even noticed when things started to get dim. It was all I could do to stay upright and I wasn't even doing that very well. It was an overload. I wasn't going to make it. Just as I felt my sense of balance slipping, I felt something take my wrist. It pulled me in a direction and I blindly followed so I didn't fall over. As I left the room I realized it was Berwald and he was leading me away into the open door that went into the aquarium. It was darker in there which kind of helped my splitting migraine but made me trip over my own feet slightly.

"T'no? T'no, ya 'kay?" Berwald led me to a bench in front of a large tank and sat me down. Relief was starting to wash over me now that I was away from Rome and I nodded my head as best I could. Berwald's thoughts were now the loudest to me, thank goodness. I couldn't hear him at all back there and I felt kind of alone even if he were standing just to my right the whole time. _What happened? He was just fine a minute ago, why is Tino looking so ill? Is he sick? What should I do?_

"W-water," I mouthed with my hands still massaging my temples. It felt like I was going to be sick…

Berwald nodded immediately and told me to stay put. He disappeared around a corner and I leaned back on the cool glass behind me taking long steady breaths to slow my heart and get oxygen to my excruciating head. It was much quieter in here and the dull roar in my ears was starting to ebb. Thank the lord Berwald noticed that something was wrong…

Oh shit, Berwald noticed that something was wrong.

_Didn't Tino say he was claustrophobic? Was that too much for him? It wasn't even that many people and it was a pretty big room…_

Berwald came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water he got from a vending machine and a million questions. He tapped me on the shoulder and sat down next to me as I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the little bottle of pills I carry around just in case this sort of thing happened. They were for my worst headaches and if there were ever a time for them, it would be now. The reason why I only take them for emergencies was because of the little side effect they had on me…I tended to get really tired. It was a good thing I had Berwald with me or I could've had trouble getting home. He would make sure I didn't get off at the wrong stop.

With a big gulp of water then another for good measure, I took a reassured breath and wiped my mouth off with my sleeve. It would be another half an hour until they kicked in but it was nice just knowing that relief was coming soon.

_What were those? I didn't get a look at the bottle. Does Tino have a condition he hasn't told me about? I hope it isn't serious. I wonder why he hasn't said anything about it. Or is it for his extreme claustrophobia?_

"Thanks, Ber…I'm so sorry about that." I got the idea to thank him in sign and I touched my chin then brought my hand down face-up. He responded with 'you're welcome.'

"Wr'ng h'nd."

"Darnit," I tried to smile and alleviate some of his worry. It only worked a little bit.

_At least he is calm enough to still remember that. _"Ya 'kay?"

"Yeah, I'm getting much better."

"Wha' ha'ened? Wha's wr'ng?" He put a comforting hand on my upper back and rubbed little circles through my unzipped jacket. The touch was welcomed but didn't help my anxioty.

"I-I…um…That happens from time to time, no reason to worry. I have medicine for it, as you saw."

"Wha' was it?"

"Oh, it was nothing…just a headache I get sometimes…"

"Mus've be'n r'lly bad. Lo'ked like ya're gonna faint."

"It's fine, really! I'm alright. Just…just give me a minute, okay? I'm still a little dizzy."

"Ah'm w'rried." Berwald leaned in a tad bit closer so our faces were level with each other. I tried not to tense up because his hand on my back would feel it. "Ya're not tell'n m' s'meth'n."

"Uh…say again?" I understood him perfectly well. I was just doing whatever I could to stall my response.

"Ya're not tell'n m' s'meth'n." He suddenly got a look of pure concentration on his face that could scare a small child. The words he said next were much clearer than any other I've ever heard him say. It wasn't easy for him. "Tino, don't hide these th'ngs. Ah want to halp."

"It's only a headache, Berwald!" My body scooted away a little and my eyes went to the right to lock onto a big fish swimming around behind a glass barrier. I crossed my arms and tried to look annoyed so he might drop it. Asking nicely wasn't working. "Look, I'll be alright so you don't have to baby me. I'm a grown man; I can take care of myself."

Berwald only stared as if he were expecting me to say more. When I didn't, he slowly looked away from my face and animatedly watched the fish swim around in the water across from us. The room was made of glass walls and all sorts of critters were swimming and scuttling around. It was calming…especially how everyone seemed too busy with the Roman exhibit to check out a boring aquarium. I could still hear the constant chatter of the masses but it was much quieter now that I wasn't in the same room. A minute went by, then two. All we did was sit and watch the sea life sway in an artificial current. Any other day I would have pointed at the black eel that just slipped by and excitedly tell everyone that I saw it. Right now, however, all I had energy for was sitting and regaining my composure. I instantly felt bad about snapping at the man sitting quietly next to me.

_I just wanted to help. Tino doesn't want my help, I wonder if he doesn't trust me or if he is naturally this stubborn. Does he think I'll think badly of him for having some kind of medical condition? Perhaps it is mental. Obviously it isn't something Tino can control. He seems kind of mad at me right now but what can I do to break this tension? I don't want to make it worse…_

Great, now I feel like an unappreciative dick. Berwald's mood was low and confused and I hated to be the one that made him that way. With a sigh, I cautiously poked his arm. My eyes were still glued ahead of me while his went to my lips. "Ber, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I'm just…"

"Ya're stressed."

"Yes, I'm stressed. I get migraines sometimes; it really isn't anything to worry about. My medicine will work soon and I'll be just fine again. You really don't have to worry. I'm okay." There was no response for a moment. I wondered if he needed me to repeat anything, then I received a thought.

_He isn't okay. I can see it. Tino doesn't want to tell me…I guess there isn't anything I can do about that. But I want to help._

Not a moment later, his arm went around my shoulder and pulled me into his side for a gentle hug. It wasn't an advance, it was a kind gesture meant as an attempt to show me he understood when it was so clear that he didn't but wasn't willing to press it. Berwald really does care. He cares so much…I don't understand how he could but he does.

And I really care for him, too.

I leaned into his side after a moment of hesitation and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. We just sat there for awhile, alone in the dim aqua lighting of the fish tanks, watching little schools go by and not doing anything. Sometimes someone would walk by, spot us, think something about how two guys were hugging like that, and return to looking at the fish before leaving. You would think I would be embarrassed but I really wasn't. I even closed my eyes for a little and Berwald was perfectly fine with being my support. Sooner than I expected I felt my headache start to wane. It was much easier to deal with now and the dizziness wasn't quite as bad.

"I think I can stand now," I said. Berwald didn't know I spoke and I had to nudge him and repeat. He nodded and let go so I could get back on my feet. Yes, I was feeling much better.

"Ya gonna make it?" he asked. I hesitated before answering which gave him all the answer he needed. "Hm. We c'n go."

"I don't want to rush you or anything. You were enjoying the museum before I had my little episode."

"Ya aren't fe'l'n well, shou'd ca' it a day. Had f'n."

I felt terrible about ruining our little outing but I knew he was right. Soon I would be feeling the fatigue those dumb pills give me and I would be no fun anyway. Might as well end it here, but I didn't like leaving on such a sour note. Things still felt a little tense between us. "Hey, can we get something to eat first? I'm supposed to eat when I take those and our bus doesn't come for awhile."

Berwald nodded and took me by the arm. He wasn't pulling or gripping, it was just to make sure I was with him. He was still kind of worried I was going to fall over even though I told him I was feeling better. My friend led me through the museum and we exited the building to find the chilly air had not gone away since the last time we were outside. I zipped up my coat and Berwald took a moment to do the same to his. I quickly put on my gloves and we started to walk down the sidewalk in relative silence.

Not too far away was a sushi bar. After finding out that Berwald didn't mind sushi, we went in. The people inside welcomed us and gave us a seat at the stools in front of a conveyer belt. Yes, it was conveyer belt sushi. That is the best way to have sushi and if you haven't tried it then you should! Stuff on little plates goes around in circles and you pick out whatever looks tasty, then you eat it. No waiting for your order and no hassle! Plus you get to watch the chefs make the stuff right in front of you. One of them was putting a freshly made batch of California rolls out for the taking as we requested our drinks and I snatched one before it got away.

_I've never been to this kind of place before. What do I do? Oh, Tino just took a plate off the line. How do you know what it is and how much it costs?_

"I see you're a little confused," I said after swallowing a big bite of my roll soaked in soy sauce. "There is this chart right here saying how much each color plate is, and here's a chart showing you what it is. Just grab whatever you want and chow down, it is on me."

"Ya don' have tah pay the who'e b'll…"

I gave him a stern look balanced with a smirk. "Who's the one with the job, here? That would be me. Seriously, don't sweat it. Besides, I owe you for today."

"T'day?"

"Yeah, you know…for dragging you away from your busy schedule to see some museum."

"Who's one w'th the jo'?" Berwald raised an eyebrow and returned my question to me. I shrugged.

"I make my own hours, so whatever. Plus I owe you for helping me out back there. You are a great friend to stick around even when I was getting snotty."

"Ya weren' s'otty."

"Whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant. Thanks again." I did the 'thank you' sign and he nodded with the gesture for 'you're welcome.'

"R'ght h'nd this t'me."

"Sweet! I'm getting the hang of this. Now pick something and eat it before I pick for you. And I have really weird tastes, so you better watch out."

Berwald snapped his chopsticks and looked at the food for a minute before picking up a red plate and setting it next to my yellow one. On his was a sliced up volcano roll. "Hey, can I have one of those? I don't see any more going around so…"

"Hm." Berwald took a piece between his chopsticks and held it up to my face. I blinked before realizing what he was trying to do. The food was popped in my mouth when it opened and he watched me chew. "Go'd?"

"Yeah! It's delicious," I said with my mouth still a little full. "Needs soy sauce, though."

_He sure puts a lot of that on his sushi. He must like really salty things._

"Hey, ever had wasabi on this before?"

What started as a strategically planned day at the museum that became a little dodgy halfway though was shaping up to be nice after all. In no time we were both enjoying our food and the atmosphere was pleasant again. We didn't talk too much throughout dinner, but it was fun anyway. Especially when I tricked him into trying salmon roe. He popped a few of the little red eggs into his mouth and immediately his face scrunched up. I laughed as he downed an entire glass of water just to get the taste out and he sent me a narrow eye'd glare. I knew he wasn't really mad; it was payback for the leaf thing earlier.

_It is like I can be myself around Tino. No trying to hide my expressions or make them look different, he doesn't fear my face at all and even knows things about me that anybody else would never be able to pick up. How does he do it?_

It is simple my dear Berwald. Once you get past the tough exterior, I can't see you as anything more than a big soft lug. You really are different in that you genuinely care without needing anything in return. This whole time you've pursued me when I showed no sign of even considering you but you still did it. Even if I wasn't ever going to turn around and love you back, you were still going to keep loving me. I admire that about you, your courage and tenacity, and because of that I can understand.

I can also read your mind. That helps too.

* * *

><p><strong>Hold up! The date ain't over yet…<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**There is, shamefully, a bit of drama in this one. But what is a good love story without your fair share of self loathing and the occasional anxiety attack?**

* * *

><p>I don't think I've ever been more stuffed in my entire life. Berwald kept taking things off the conveyer belt and insisting that we share them. I admit, it was a great way to try as many things as possible, but there was something else about it. I always got the first bite of his and he was the one popping it into my mouth every time. Berwald liked to feed me. What am I, a pet?<p>

Ah, but the food was good so I didn't mind.

I paid the bill for everything (even though Berwald was practically breaking down inside because I refused to let him help because I KNEW he didn't have enough to even pay half anyway) and we were right on time to catch our bus home. I waved goodbye to the museum as we left and settled down in my seat next to my stoic company. There was only one other person on board and she was listening to music so all I heard from her head was an echo. The bus driver was absently thinking about what he was going to eat for dinner when he got off his shift and was easy to ignore. Especially when I focused purely on Berwald, who made a great pillow.

_R-relax, Tino is just tired. He's only resting his head on your shoulder because he's tired. Don't get any ideas, just let him be. Maybe he will fall asleep…that would be adorable. Especially when waking him up. He might yawn, rub his eyes, and smile drowsily at me before we get off the bus and I would take his hand and…I shouldn't be thinking like this. Tino wouldn't appreciate it, I have been a little too close all day and I wonder if he's noticed. Half of me wants him to. I don't know how much longer I can go on before I slip up…_

_Oh, he stirred. Tino rubbed his cheek on me. He's too cute like this…his lips are parted just a little. I'm always watching them move, I wonder how they are in a kiss? I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but he's just so… No, even if he does fall asleep I will not lean over and do anything shameful like that. If I am ever going to kiss Tino it will be when he is wide awake and willing or not at all._

Following his rapidly growing thought bubble was a flicker of Berwald's imagination. It was a picture conjured up of us together, him holding my hands and I standing on my toes, he was leaned forward and we were-

D-don't blush. Come one, Tino, control yourself! Berwald's imagination was just getting the best of him, he will stop himself like he always does and it will be okay…

I was wrong. Berwald didn't stop himself, in fact he allowed his mind to go over the possibilities he was wishing were true. He thought it was okay to let his mind wander, just this once, and maybe sink into a little fantasy while the bus went down the darkening streets at dusk. Which means that I got to see the whole thing.

The kiss he pictured was one of those cheesy movie ones. His smiling vision of me leaned into Berwald's lips, signaling that he wanted more, and Berwald happily gave in. In his mind he could make normal facial expressions and there was a warm smile plastered to his face as well as eyes soft as blue fleece before being closed in the sweet bliss of the too-perfect moment. He wrapped his arms around the smaller frame in front of him and pulled it flush to his chest. Fantasy Tino held on gently around his neck eagerly helping to make the kiss grow deeper. Finally they parted for air. Fantasy Tino made a soundless gasp when Berwald's mouth went to his neck and his image of me was twisting the fabric of his coat in his hands and mouthing a name, laughing a little from the tickling feeling of soft lips kissing from ear to collarbone…

Thank goodness he was so absorbed in his own little world that he didn't see me turning bright red. Honestly, a little self control would be nice! But I guess I couldn't expect anything else from him, after all, he was in love with me. It wouldn't be surprising if this wasn't the first time he imagined a scene like that. But there was something about it…something I couldn't really put a finger on…it was a feeling. I'm not sure if it was mine or his. Normally I would attempt to stop fantasies like this due to how embarrassing they were but this time I stayed put. Let him, I thought to myself. There is no harm done by letting him think of me in such a way.

There was a light pressure on the top of my head and I realized Berwald was carefully resting his on mine. He thought I was asleep. No, I was just extremely tired and didn't feel like opening my eyes or supporting my own weight. My pills were definitely working now and I could hardly feel a thing. Everything was a foggy mess, thoughts of mine and others blended together seamlessly with a string of faint music from somewhere far away. All I was really aware of was how nice it was to be here like this…it was warm… Berwald's fantasy gradually ended when wishful thinking turned into a kind of composed melancholy.

_I can only dream, _Berwald thought quietly and let out a small sigh. _I may never get to tell him how I feel but I hope this peace lasts forever. I guess I should be thankful that he trusts me this much already. I don't have to ask for any more, Tino doesn't have to tell me anything he doesn't want to. I just want him to be happy. To be his friend is enough…_

Berwald was lying to himself.

000

The gravel driveway crunched under our feet as we made our way through shadowy trees. There wasn't much light now that it was dark out and it was hard to see the path at first but after awhile my eyes adjusted. Not that I was paying attention to where we were going anyway. I was so light-headed that it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. Berwald noticed my difficulty and put an arm around me so I could use him as a crutch. He was a little worried.

"It's fine, I always get like this when I take that stuff." Berwald communicated through a modest squeeze. I smiled and looked up at the stars peeking out through the braches above. It was overcast earlier but now the sky was clear. "Woooow, it is beautiful tonight isn't it? I just want to lie down and look at the stars…"

"Too c'ld."

"Aw, but with a little hot cocoa it would be perfect."

"Ya're tired, aren't ya?"

"Oh yeah…" I guess I was a little loopy at the moment. Berwald noticed.

_He's funny when he is intoxicated._

"Heheh," I giggled a bit. "Man, you should see me drunk…it takes two bottles of vodka just to get me hammered but when I do it's a party."

_That somehow worries me. Does Tino drink a lot?_

"I was just born with a high tolerance."

There was a little change in Berwald's mood. He was starting to get a little confused about something. I figured it was what I said. "That doesn't mean I drink or party a lot, you know how it is with me. I don't do well with lots of people and loud noises, like today."

…_This is strange._

"Hey, plenty of people can't handle stuff like that! I wish I could. It would be nothing but clubs for me every Friday night."

_Is he…is he talking to himself or something?_

"Wow, that's rude. If you didn't want to talk to me you could have said so… Aw, but you do want to. You can't fool me."

We abruptly came to a halt. I was perplexed as to why we stopped until Berwald opened his mouth. "T'no, who're ya talk'n tah?"

"You of course. Are you trying to be silly or something? I'm not getting the joke."

"But…ya're carr'n on ah con'ersation…an' ah haven't be'n talk'n…" I blinked at him. What is he talking about? We were just talking about parties and…

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks strapped to an elephant and I felt my heart nearly stop. I goofed up. I was responding to Berwald's thoughts this entire time! No wonder he was speaking in complete sentences and sounding perfectly clear, he wasn't speaking at all! I was so out of it I didn't even notice.

"…I-I…well…" Berwald was studying my face for an answer I was slow to give. I was freezing up and wondering what the hell I was going to do to get out of this mess. What could I say? I could tell him I'm crazy. But then he might get scared of me and I don't want that… What could I do to distract him?

I turned myself around and grabbed him by the back of the neck. Thinking back on it I wonder what the hell gave me this horrible idea but at the time it was genius to a drugged-up mind like mine. I pulled him down, and…

Everything ceased. It was quiet…sweet silence…Berwald's puzzled head was put to rest. It wasn't more than a second before I pulled away feeling victorious. In one simple action, Berwald's questions all but vanished. He was lobster red and staring at me with the widest eyes I have ever seen on his face and his mind was completely taken off what just happened. My secret is safe another-

Wait, what the hell did I just do? Wasn't I supposed to tell him about that _before_ I did anything like this? Wasn't I planning on telling him now anyway? Oh fuck, I just messed everything up!

_D…did Tino just…he kissed me…is this real? H-he actually…but…_

"Ber, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!"

His lips were back on mine in a flash. It was like a switch had been pulled, one I was not anticipating to be so immediate and potent. It was all I could do to hold on as Berwald bent me over backwards and gave me the longest smooch of my life. He was pouring everything he'd been holding back into this one kiss. I could feel nothing but pure ecstasy from him as he held on, his eyes closed and a hand lacing through my hair.

My plan to get him to stop thinking backfired and now I was the one drawing a blank. But I wasn't fighting back, no. Quite the opposite. Carefully at first, I responded. You have no idea how good it felt…

000

I wish I could have woken up happy.

Instead I was a complete mess. I dragged myself out of bed and hit the coffee pretty hard. Oh, how my head ached…and my chest, that was worse of all. There wasn't anything I knew of that could help that kind of pain, though. Except maybe turning back time and stopping myself from ever meeting Berwald in the first place.

Last night was a mix of a dream and a nightmare. It was amazing, but now my heart beats in a pool of dread. As I cradled my warm coffee cup curled up on the couch I went over my situation. Yesterday I went out with Berwald, had a great time, and decided that I had to make him mine. That's great and all, but…he still doesn't know…right now he thinks he has everything he ever wanted. Just wait until the ugly truth rolls around to show him what he really had was a pile of deceiving shit.

How will he react? Well, there were a number of ways. Only three people have found out about me (other than my mom and dad) and each reaction was slightly different, if not the same. The first was a childhood friend of mine who reacted in fear. He told me I was scary and that he never wanted to play with me again. The second was the counselor that broke the news to my parents after getting the truth out of me. She said she wanted to 'help' but only ended up screwing things over. Reading minds doesn't give you a window to predict someone's actions; it only proves that you never know what someone will do. She honestly wanted to help…at first. We had to move if my parents didn't want me taken away to be poked and prodded for the rest of my life. The third was the ex girlfriend that reacted with anger, as you know, and I don't even want to get started on that one.

People don't want to have a mind reader around. The mind is the only place a person can go for pure privacy. Your true inner self is guarded in towers of protection as it should be. Knowing that fortress has been breached and can be at any given time is a little too much for most to handle. To them I am like a Trojan virus. I slip in unseen, gain access to their most guarded secrets, and I could very well destroy them if I so wanted. It is hard to trust someone with things you might not even trust yourself with and is only made worse because I can't stop. If I had an ounce of control over this curse things would be a lot easier.

So there was no telling how Berwald would react. I liked to think that he wouldn't care and that he would love me no matter what, but…there was a real chance that wasn't true. All it takes is one disaster to put things into perspective and make you realize what you really want. This disaster has told me how much I want Berwald's affectionate touch and devotion, his strong shoulder to lean on and unwavering trust, and his simple desires and chaste care. I want to see him happy above all else. I want him to be understood by at least one person on this lonely Earth…

Who knows what this disaster might do for him. Berwald may realize I am not that innocent little Tino of his dreams and that everything was a lie. I have known how he feels about me since the day we met and he might not appreciate how I did nothing. I didn't even warn him. This whole time he believes everything is how he's seen it so far. Just wait until I shatter his world.

In the end, no matter what he chose, I wouldn't stop him from leaving if he believed that would make him happy. I want Berwald to be happy even if it means that I will be a wreck for a long time to come. Who am I to wish for happiness when I am like this? Life isn't quite that fair.

Despite my inner turmoil I kept up a cheery mask as we texted back and forth every so often. He kept asking to meet up but I had to give excuses. 'I'm too busy today, sorry.' 'I'm not feeling well. I'm just going to take it easy and stick around the house.' It wasn't because I didn't want to see him but because I wasn't ready to face the royal shit-storm I made for myself. I still didn't know how I was going to break the news but I knew it had to be the next time I saw him.

The thought crossed my mind that I should tell him through text. That way I wouldn't have to see him angrily walk away, we just wouldn't see each other anymore and that would be that. But it also felt kind of cowardly and shallow to do that so I refrained. If I have any chance of keeping him even as a friend after the disturbing truth is out it will have to be face-to-face.

Until then I stalled.

000

"Junk mail, junk mail, junk mail…" I flipped through the envelopes in my hand and scanned the tops without much care. It was hard to do with gloves on but I didn't feel like taking them off. The air had gotten very chilly lately and the ground was locked in frost every morning. A trip to my mail box at the end of my driveway meant bundling up for a five minute walk through the trees. Not that I minded too much, it was just a bit of a hassle and I'm a lazy ass.

The energy was a waste when I found nothing exciting waiting in the little red box for me today. As I was turning around to head back there was the sound of a car pulling off the road onto the gravel and coming to a slow stop. People often used this spot as a turn-around so I didn't pay much attention to it and just kept walking. However, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a familiar voice.

_There he is. It looks like Tino was checking the mail._

My feet turned me around so fast I nearly fell over. Behind me was a deep blue sedan and the window was rolling down to reveal a stoic face I had been longing yet dreading to see for days. He leaned out the window a little and propped himself casually on his arm.

_Hello,_ Berwald greeted in sign. I was a little lost for words so I merely mimicked him. "C'me by tah see ya. Haven't be'n 'round la'ely."

"O-oh, yeah…sorry about that, I've been catching up on some work of mine that I was getting behind on," I lied through my teeth and hoped my smile wasn't too nervous-looking to give me away. I could feel the mood he was in, the worries swimming around in his head, and I realized something was up.

_Is it really work? _ "Ah c'n drive ya tah ya're house whi'e ah'm h're. Car's wa'm."

Without any other choice I agreed. I tucked my mail in my arm and went around to the other side where I could climb in next to him. The car was indeed much warmer. "Thanks! It is kind of cold out here and it takes awhile to walk back and forth."

"Hm." We started to crawl forward again and both of us were silent. Berwald had to focus on his driving and couldn't look at my lips so it was only natural we didn't talk…but the silence was still unnerving. Berwald's mind was racing; it was a big mess since the last time we met. I had no idea he was getting like this when my only way to communicate with him was through text. How was I supposed to know when I couldn't read his mind? The whole three days we hadn't seen each other I didn't think anything was wrong only to find everything was. I felt totally blind. But then again, this is how normal people do things all the time. How do they live like this?

When we got to the end of the driveway Berwald turned his car off but didn't move to get out. He sat back in his chair and looked at me. Just looked. While it appeared he was zoning out I knew he was contemplating how to start the conversation he desperately wanted to have with me. He couldn't wait for me to invite him into my house and he doubted I would anyway. His head was in a really uneasy place right now.

"Are…you okay, Berwald?" I asked innocently. The man blinked before answering.

"Are ya?" I couldn't stand his piercing gaze any longer and looked away.

"Yeah, I'm fine." My hand went for the door handle but a sudden click made me stop. The little peg went down before I could open it. That forced me to turn back around. "Ber, what is this about?" I knew full well but I wanted to know how he was going to say it.

"Mon'ay nigh'," he said slowly. The image of us in the starlight flashed across my eyes. "Ah w'nt tah know wha' tha' was."

"…It was a kiss wasn't it?"

"Hm. Did ya me'n it?"

"Of course I did. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't…"

"Th'n why do's it fe'l l'ke ya're avoid'n m'?"

"I-I'm not!" I put my hands up and gave him the best smile I could muster, hoping to help the atmosphere a little. "I just happened to get really busy suddenly and I think I might have caught something. You probably shouldn't stick around too long or you might catch it, heheh."

Berwald's hands came up to take mine and lower them again. He leaned forward a little and I swear his gaze got ten times sterner. "T'no, tell m' the truth. B'fore tha' happ'ned ya lo'ked worr'ed 'bout s'meth'n. Ya're worr'ed now, too. Wha' is it? Do ya not l'ke me'af'er all?"

"No! No, Berwald, of course I like you! In fact I like you a lot more than I ever thought, especially after what happened Monday night. It's made me realize how much it would hurt to lose you…"

"Ya aren't gonna l'se m'," he said quieter. "'M the one who's 'fraid've lose'n ya. T'no, tell m' wha's wron'."

Well, I might as well do it now. It took a moment to gather my thoughts so I wouldn't stutter like a fool. Berwald waited patiently still holding my gloved hands. I could feel his warmth through the fabric. "You might hate me after I tell you this."

He shook his head. _I could never hate him. I love Tino, ever since the moment I saw his amazing eyes. _Ah, so he finally realized…

"Berwald, you constantly wonder how I'm able to read you so well when your face doesn't change. I always surprise you when I understand what you mean and can almost predict what you are going to do. I know more about you than you know…"

* * *

><p><strong>WHAT'S THIS, A CLIFF HANGER? Oh, I am simply evil aren't I?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**FINALLY! Finals are over. Back to the fluff.**

* * *

><p>I couldn't even look him in the eye. We'd since moved from Berwald's car to my living room and each took a seat on the couch, him on one side and me on the arm of the other. My guest was taking in my confession and processing it. Overall, he didn't believe me. I took the piece of paper we were using and wrote another line.<p>

'It is true.'

_That is impossible._

'It's very possible.'

…_I haven't even written anything._

'You don't have to.'

At this point Berwald was starting to realize what I said was truer than he thought. He looked up at me with his brows low and calculating. _Wait, you are responding to my thoughts? If you are, ummm…what number am I thinking of?_

'27.' He blinked in surprise when I got it right. 'Please don't be angry.'

_Why would I be angry? This is…this is amazing!_

Memories of those I've told went through my head. That was the same way each of them responded at first. It meant nothing more than an initial reaction. 'It is kind of scary though. I wouldn't blame you for thinking so.'

_How is that scary? It's just… _A thought dawned on him and he gave me a wide-eyed look similar to the one he had when I kissed him, but with more panic. _Wait, if you have been reading my mind this entire time then you've known from the start that I…_ I didn't even get to answer before his hands went over his face. The man often so composed and stoic was pressing himself into my couch cushions praying pitifully that they would eat him alive and save him from the awful embarrassment plaguing him at that minute. I couldn't see his face but the red pigment staining his skin was so dominating it was going down his neck while he groaned in agony. This is the most physical expression I have ever seen from him!

"Oh, Ber! Please calm down, it's not as bad as you think!" I slid off my perch so I could be next to him and tried to take his hands away. They wouldn't budge and he even leaned away from my touch.

_Oh no, this is terrible! This whole time I thought I was being secretive when he knew all along! What does he think of me? I bet he thinks I'm a creep and a liar, I can't believe this!_

"I don't! I…" my voice trailed off when I remembered he couldn't hear me and his eyes were covered. Berwald was blaming himself for everything from freaking me out to global warming. There wasn't anything I could say that could reach him, so I went with something else that was sure to get him to at least look at me.

"Berwald, get a hold of yourself!" I swung a leg over his and sat down with a heavy plop. He finally allowed me to take his hands away so he could stare in shock at my face suddenly inches from his as I sat on his lap in a desperate plea to be recognized. The square glasses on his nose were starting to fall down and I slid them back up into place with a finger so nothing could get in the way of him reading my lips. "Berwald, you didn't freak me out. Well…you might have at first, but I swear it is okay! If you really did bother me that much I wouldn't have let it go on this long."

"…B' why'd'it…"

"Use your head, I can understand you better that way."

…_But why did you? I might as well of worn my thoughts on my sleeves and you let me think I wasn't!_

Now it was my turn to be silent. My shoulders slumped a little as I tried to come up with the words I needed. "…I never thought…"

_Thought what? That I would care if you were reading me like a book? That you could watch me make a fool of myself without me even knowing it? Is it funny to you?_

Oh no, here it comes. The moment I was dreading. The next thing out of his head would be anger, or fear, or the pure disgust of someone as low as me. I had to tell him the truth before he could storm away. With any luck, he would listen. But I know how bad my luck usually is.

"…I never thought it would go this far. Berwald, please…understand me…I never meant for any of this to happen. But before I knew it, I was…I'm…"

_What is he saying? _I knew he meant that he wasn't reading my slightly quivering lips very well but it felt like something else that made my heart twist painfully.

"I love you," I mouthed. He understood that one for sure. It kind of just came out…but I didn't doubt it. I think I am coming to love him. "If it weren't for my ability I probably would have been totally freaked out and wouldn't have talked to you, but because of it I know there isn't anything scary about you!"

_He…he loves me… Nothing scary…this is the first time anyone has ever said that to me. Tino, how did you not think I am creepy for being so obsessed?_

"You weren't obsessed, you were hopeful and…sweet," I had to refrain from biting my lip at this point. Saying sappy stuff like this doesn't come naturally to me. "I understand you."

_I don't understand you. _Berwald instantly felt regret for thinking that. It isn't like he can stop himself. _I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I mean, I meant it but…I don't want you to think-_

"-That you don't want to? I know you do. I know." So far so good. Berwald had calmed down and he wasn't running away just yet. He was struggling to wrap his mind around it but he wasn't about to give up. He wanted to understand which is different from the other reactions I have gotten. Berwald was different, which filled me with hope. I spoke slowly and clearly hoping to get my message across. "You have to realize that I couldn't just tell you something like this right off the bat. That isn't how things work, it shouldn't be. There are rules to the ways people interact with each other and I try my best to follow them. You would think that knowing what people are thinking would make it easy but it only makes things harder. The mind is a sacred place and I do my best to keep it that way. Do you understand now?"

Berwald couldn't decipher everything I said but he got the gist of it. _A little. You confuse me so much._

"I'm sorry," I apologized. I felt his hands go to my cheeks and he cupped them gently, moving a stray lock of my blonde hair away from my eyes looking down into his.

_It isn't your fault. You know, I have always been the one nobody could understand. I guess I've just felt a little out of place being on the other side of the spectrum._

I gave him a small hopeful smile. "But have you liked it?"

…_It is strange…but I have._

I let out a breath I have been holding for days. There was something hot pricking at the corners of my eyes and I fought not to let it out, but it was really hard not to. It's just that I've never had this before… This is the first time I have ever told anyone my secret and they didn't run away or get weird! How would you expect me to react? When the tears forced themselves past my willpower I put my hands over Berwald's and used them to cover my face. What? I don't like people seeing me cry! It makes me feel stupid… Berwald didn't really know why I was crying and thought I was sad about something he did.

"T'no?"

"I-I'm sorry, I'm a big dumb baby and I know there isn't really anything to cry about but I can't stop and it's probably just that I haven't eaten much today or had much sleep and I'm tired so-"

"T'no, c'n't u'derst'nd yah." Oh yeah, I was still burying myself in his and my palms. I wanted to explain but I really didn't want to show my shameful face so he could read my lips. Damnit, if only my telepathy could work both ways! (On second thought, that would be terrible.)

It was about then I realized I was still on Berwald's lap which was kind of awkward, but I didn't feel like moving until I could calm down. I took slow breaths of air through warm fingers and listened to Berwald's inner ramblings while I composed myself.

_Did I say something strange? I don't think I did. If I could see his face I would ask but…wait a minute, he can hear my thoughts. He's probably hearing them right now. Gosh this is weird! Uh…Tino? What is wrong? Can you tell me? _I shook my head no. Berwald wasn't ready to take that as an answer. _Look at me, Tino, or I'll make you look at me. _He pried his hands and mine away from my face. Great, now he could see my red teary eyes and embarrassed flush clear as day! But he didn't seem to notice them. _Ah, he's smiling. So he isn't sad, he's happy._

"O-of course I'm happy! I just can't believe this is real…this isn't a dream, is it?" He shook his head and smiled back at me. It was one of those rare genuine smiles I've only seen once or twice before. I loved it. "I'm so sorry for making you so worried and upset earlier, Berwald… I won't hide anything from you, okay? Can you still love me even if I'm not what you thought I was?"

Berwald shook his head then came forward and closed the distance between us. _You are everything I thought you were. If anything you are even more amazing than I thought._

Never has a kiss meant so much to me. I wanted to ask how but that would mean breaking it. I knew I would know eventually, though. Berwald can't hide anything from me.

000

I would like to say things got easier after that but that would only be half the truth. On one hand it was a whole lot easier to communicate with Berwald. I didn't have to decipher his broken speech anymore and he was free to talk to me like he hasn't to anyone in a long time: in complete sentences and clarity. All I needed was his mind.

But with that came a kind of insecurity in Berwald. I could hear everything he was thinking, even the things he didn't want me to know, and it was kind of getting to him. The man didn't have the freedom of his own head anymore. Not that he ever did anyway, but now he was aware of it. I had to constantly reassure him that it wasn't about what went on in his head but what he did outside of it that I paid attention to. We all have our private thoughts. I try not to ignore them, though, because they do not make you who you are or define you in any way. It was a hard concept to grasp for others like Berwald.

"Boo," said a low voice from behind when my vision went black. I chuckled and sat back from where I was reading my book in a comfortable library rocking chair. The hands over my eyes came away and Berwald took a seat next to me. _Surprise you?_ he signed. When in public he would do sign language so it wouldn't confuse people as to why I was talking to a silent man. I would answer as usual.

"Nope." I could hear him planning this a mile away.

_Darn. Some day I will surprise you for real._

"I'll be waiting," I said with a wink. "When you do, I'll give you a reward."

Berwald's mind instantly kicked into overdrive. _Reward? What kind of reward? An 'I'll pay for dinner' kind of reward or…_ It was when his involuntary thoughts started getting precarious that he had to remind himself that I could see everything he was picturing and he shook his head to clear them away. _S-sorry, Tino…I wasn't trying to be a perv or anything, I just…Ugh, I'm an idiot._

Although the imagery made my ears burn I managed to laugh instead of get angry like he thought I was going to be. In all honesty, what he pictured wasn't even that bad. It was actually kind of charming in a way. Berwald looked at me cautiously like a guilty child. I grabbed the paper and pen I'd set on the desk in preparation for his arrival and scratched down a few words.

'Don't worry, you can't help it. I'm not mad.' Berwald isn't the only one who has a wandering mind. You would be surprised how much people think of things of that nature on the first date. His behavior was normal. Actually, no. It wasn't normal. It was downright endearing how innocent his thoughts always were about me. Even if he slipped a little and had a quick involuntary fantasy, it was never unpleasant. They range from us holding each other in the shade of a tree in the park to him slightly lifting up my shirt with a gentle hand to feel the smooth skin of my stomach as he kisses my lips. Because they were thoughts of love and not lust I could call it flattering. Of course, Berwald didn't know I had the difference mapped and was always worried about me misunderstanding him finding me attractive for something else.

He lifted his hands and signed his response. _I wish I could help it, though. I don't want you to think I'm like that._

'That's the great thing: you aren't and I know it. You really don't have to worry when I can see all sides of you. There are many sides to a person and none of them define you alone.' He read my words and tentatively accepted them. I paused before adding something else below what I wrote above. He watched me scribble it down noticing the slight change in my demeanor. 'Besides, you were on the right track anyway.' This is flirting, right? I'm not very good at it but I'm learning it can be fun.

_The right…track…_ I was bombarded with another involuntary image from the pondering one next to me. This one was a little different and picked up with us on a couch, he was straddling my legs and kissing me down my naked chest, slowly…

"N-no! No, no, no, not anything like that!" I practically yelped and shook my head furiously. Berwald stopped and shot me another apologetic look.

_Your fault this time!_ He accused. But there was a slightly teasing quality to his inner voice. I could sense a smile in it. He did that on purpose just to see me flustered, which he thinks is embarrassingly adorable. Oh, the torture I endure just for his amusement!

"You dick," I said and stuck my tongue out. He chuckled low in his throat and his arm found itself around my waist. Berwald pulled me in and he gave me a kiss on the temple and I didn't know I could get any redder than I already was. "B-Ber! Don't do that here!" I hissed through my teeth and quickly pulled away. He let go but didn't take it personally. He knows I don't like public affection. Luckily there wasn't anyone who saw this time…not like last time he did something like that and Elizaveta was right there to drop her jaw. The thoughts from that woman when she sees us together have never been the same.

_Still, I worry that it might get boring. How are you able to live with knowing my every move? Am I unable to be spontaneous like a good boyfriend? You can, but I feel terrible that I can't._

Berwald has been asking himself the same question for a week. Every day when we met in the library he would greet me in a different way. Whether producing a hot cup of coffee from his back, giving me a simple hug, or even a peck on the cheek (which I was embarrassed as hell to receive in public), his goal was the same: somehow get his motifs out of my radar. He was really worked up about it not because he didn't want me to notice but because he knew an important part of any relationship is to be impulsive. That was how he liked to be romantic and if it wasn't an option, he didn't quite know what to do.

I tried my best to explain that I was very used to it. It was natural to me therefore he had no need to worry about whether I wanted anything other than what I was adapted to. But the problem was that it wasn't natural to him.

'You do surprise me. All the time.'

_I do?_

'Yes.' I tapped my chin with the pen while I thought of a way to explain what is common knowledge for me. 'People plan surprises but they also don't. When someone really cares for another they don't think about it when they help or do something nice. I'm more aware than others so I pick up on the little things and they aren't so little to me.'

_I see…but I still want to plan a surprise for you._

'I'm sure you can find a way.'

* * *

><p><strong>Shorter chapter, but hopefully filling. I think the next one is the last…<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey, hey, hey! Guess who's back?**

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><p><strong>Berwald: <strong>I got a job

Sent: 9:47

**Tino:** u did? omg congrats! where at?

Sent: 9:49

**Berwald:** Ikea. I'm a mover.

Sent: 9:51

**Tino:** thats awesome we will have to celebrate :)

Sent: 9:53

**Berwald:** Got any plans for the rest of the day?

Sent: 9:55

**Tino:** no

Sent: 9:56

**Berwald:** Come to the library today at 1

Sent: 9:58

**Tino:** is this a date? :)

Sent: 9:59

**Berwald:** Maybe…

Sent: 10:01

Yeah, it was a date. I didn't have to read his mind to know that. We've done this a few times where we meet up at the library and he takes me somewhere or (most often) I take him somewhere to hang out and have fun. Berwald is on a budget and he has a problem with making me pay for everything so we rarely do anything that involves more than buying coffee or hot chocolate from a stand at the park. I wasn't expecting much more than that for this celebratory date, but now that he has a job I can expect to be taken to a nice dinner very soon without him getting worked up about me paying the whole thing. Then I will be free to treat him, and so on and so forth. Ah, normality! Well…as close as it gets for us, anyway.

But it wasn't like I minded our low cost dates in the meantime, because they made me feel quite rich. That is, I didn't mind at all as long as it was me and Berwald in a nice quiet place away from the bustle of people and enjoying each other's presence…

Yeah, my head has been a little sappy recently. Sue me, I'm in love.

It isn't something I'm used to but I definitely like it. I find myself on my cell phone late into the night, texting back and forth with Berwald and pausing to look at the picture that shows up whenever I get his replies. His sky blue eyes stand out the most, though my camera phone is terrible quality making him seem paler than he really is. Still, it is enough for me to remember how amazing the man I am dating is.

Though his face may look stern and intimidating sometimes, I can't ever find myself scared of him when Berwald is such a teddy bear. I mean, seriously, the guy is strong enough to lift me over his head if he wanted yet every time his arm protectively comes around my shoulders or he reaches over to sweep away a lock of my hair to plant a kiss on my forehead, he couldn't be more gentle. Like he thinks he will break me. Actually, he thinks he will scare me away which is ridiculous. I meant what I said a few weeks back: there isn't anything scary about him.

I set off for the library when the time rolled close and walked to the end of my driveway and along the road. The afternoon held crisp blue skies that remind me of river ice, the memory from my childhood of such a place lingering in my mind and making me smile as I walked down the sidewalk towards town. It would be a twenty minute walk but I didn't mind. Walking was how I got places anyway, unless it was raining. It was good exercise considering my job requires me to sit at a computer screen in a dark room for most of the day.

The library was pleasantly vacant, though that was normal for the place in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. Most people were at work or school right now. As I went in, I felt the various quieted thoughts of those reading and browsing the shelves along with the smell of paper and ink. Ah, it was good to be home.

As my feet took me past the counter I gave Elizaveta a quick hello like I always did.

"Hi Tino. How are you today?"

"In high spirits. I won't be here long." A quick mental scan of the area told me Berwald wasn't here yet. Something clicked in the librarian's head and she remembered something with a quick 'oh!' and I watched her dig around in her desk and pull something out.

"I have something for you, by the way." What she produced was a book. When my eyes inspected the title, I found it was on an old Chinese emperor. Elizaveta saw my confused look and shrugged. "Big-tall-and-scary was in here earlier and asked if I would hold it for you. I'm not sure why, he didn't say. Or maybe he did…I don't know, I can't understand him."

"Berwald was here earlier? When?"

"Not too long ago." Damnit. Did I miss him? Was my clock off? "I was surprised he wasn't with you. He just came in, grabbed this book, and handed it to me. He told me to give it to you and left." I was so busy pondering what this could mean that I nearly didn't catch it when her thoughts turned somewhere else. It was like there was a bubble inside of her and she was doing her best to contain it as she tried to appear nonchalant. "So…how are you two, by the way?"

"We are fine… Great, actually. Berwald finally found a job and we are supposed to celebrate today. But if he was here earlier than I guess I missed him…but I'm pretty sure the message said one…"

"You were going to celebrate, eh? Right here in the library?" _Why do I never have a camera around when I need it?_

"N-no, uh…we were going to meet up here and go somewhere," I said quickly. Maybe too quickly. Elizaveta leaned in a bit over her desk.

"I see…" Now her purring voice was starting to put me on edge. "Where do you two usually go, anyway?"

She was digging for information, though I couldn't place any reason why she would want to know. She already knew from sheer observation that Berwald and I were in a relationship. "Oh, around… To the park sometimes, movies…"

"Do tell."

"…I thought I was?"

Elizaveta rolled her eyes and tucked a lock of her long brunette hair behind an ear. "No you aren't, I want the details!" _The juicy details. _"Give me a little more to work with, I am trying to paint a picture in my head of you guys."

"And why would you be doing that?"

The woman stuck out her bottom lip innocently and bat her eyelashes. "Because I need to make sure my little Tino isn't getting hurt! Berwald is a…uh…_strange_ choice for someone like you," _or anyone for that matter. _ "You seem a little too soft for him, no offense."

I frowned at her. "On the contrary, Eli. It's him that is the soft one. If you keep judging him by how he looks then you won't be able to see how sweet he really is."

"Like how?"

"Well…" I tapped my chin and resurrected a few memories of the past few weeks that would prove my point. "When we were in the park for a picnic, it started to rain on us. Neither of us had an umbrella and the car was parked a ways away but he made sure to hold his coat over us until we got there. And another time when he was at my place I was doing something in the kitchen and he came up from behind and kissed my neck really gentle…oh, and there was this one time he-" It was about then that I suddenly came to the realization that Elizaveta wasn't just listening to my words, she was imagining them. No, this was far too detailed and discrete to be imagination. This was fantasizing. I turned red as false images of Berwald and I thoroughly soaked kissing passionately in the rain and him pinning me to a kitchen counter to lick up my neck and nibble on my earlobe went from her head directly to mine.

_Hmmm… If it is like how Tino says then maybe they do look good together after all. Strong and dangerous Berwald bending over backwards for kind and caring Tino…yeah, that could work. He's the only one that Berwald allows to see his sensitive side, and Tino can somehow understand his mumbling and signing as if fate brought them together… I've got to write this down and give it to Kiku! He needs some new material._

I tried to control my body temperature and think of something to say so I wouldn't look like a stuttering idiot when I caught a glimpse of something falling out of the book in my hand. It was a small piece of paper and I bent down to pick it up, thankful for the distraction. "It looks like someone left their bookmark…" Wait, it was a small envelope. And there was a T on the top.

"That doesn't look like a bookmark," Elizaveta said with a smirk when she caught sight of it. "Go on, open it!"

I looked at both sides to see the letter T was the only marking on it and carefully lifted the top which had not been licked shut. Elizaveta watched with eyes just as curious as mine as I brought out a piece of folded paper and opened it. There was writing (Berwald's writing, duh) in the center and I instantly read the note aloud knowing my friend behind the counter would beg me if I didn't.

"Tino, can you please return this to the history section for me? I am sure you can find its place. You are a genius at finding addresses." She waited quietly, expecting me to go on, and I had to disappoint her. "That's all it says."

"How weird."

She accompanied me to the history section so we could solve this mystery and I turned down the narrow isle past rows and rows of books in all different colors and sizes, my eyes scanned the call numbers until I was in the right spot and I slowed down to find a telltale gap in the digits. I didn't have to look very long because there was something there wedged between the books right where this one was supposed to go. It was a plush toy…a Moomintroll. And under it was another white envelope.

_What the heck is that thing? Isn't that one of those creatures from that children's book I had to stack over there? Ah, Tino is smiling so it can't be too bad._

"He remembered that I like Moomins!" I couldn't help but exclaim and give the toy a little squeeze. How long ago did I mention that?

"It came with another note," Elizaveta handed it to me impatiently wanting to know what it said. I took it and opened the envelope to find another piece of paper with Berwald's writing inside.

"I wish I was there to see you find him. I told him to make sure you get on the one-twenty bus. Hopefully you will get the message… Don't lose him, he is your ticket."

"D'awwww!" Elizaveta practically squealed. "How exciting! A little unorthodox, but isn't that something?" _I guess Tino was right. Berwald really is a sweetheart after all! I wonder what he has in store? I really wish I could come with! Damnit, why doesn't Roddy ever do this kind of surprise thing with me?_

Surprise. In an instant I realized what this was about and I internally kicked myself for taking this long to figure it out. Berwald was still trying to surprise me, and he was doing a pretty good job so far. I could only imagine what he was planning! This was…unexpectedly exciting.

Oh yeah. Bus. "Um, Eli? What time is it?"

The woman checked the time on her cell phone and her eyes widened a little. "Woah! One-ninteen! Tino, you need to get your butt out to the bus stop before they take off without you!" She grabbed my arm and before I knew it, I was being hauled to the doors. Her outburst was not very librarian-like and caused a few heads to turn, in which I turned a little pink and tried to make her calm down. But that wasn't easy when I was freaking out a little bit too.

I ran outside to see the bus was already at the stop just in front of the library and I made a run for it. Elizaveta was right behind me, and I just barely got to the doors right when they were about to close. I stepped on noting how weird I must have looked panting and holding a Moomin toy and went to my coat pockets to find some change. I wasn't expecting to come on the bus today and I really hoped I had some quarters…

_I'll pay his bus fair if he doesn't-_

Eliza's thoughts were cut off by another person on the bus sitting at the front. He was a rather short man with very pale blonde hair parted by a white cross barrette and a look that spoke of absolutely nothing. Why was he so familiar to me? "Take a seat," he said rather flatly. If I couldn't read minds I would have been a little ticked at how rude that was. Didn't he see me looking for my money? A little patience please! But his mind tipped me off that he was not just a random guy telling me to get my butt to my seat. _This must be Tino. He is a little different than I imagined._

I looked around the bus and there were only three people there, none of them Berwald. But obviously this man knew Berwald and it doesn't take a genius to know he was part of the unfolding plot. Still, I had to act dumb so that me instantly trusting a stranger wouldn't look suspicious. "Huh? But I haven't paid yet…"

The man pointed to my Moomin. "You are Tino right?" I nodded. "Go ahead and sit down. I am supposed to get your fair." He stood up and dropped a dollar-something into the till, the bus driver nodded, and then gestured for me to sit down next to him. I gave Elizaveta a confused wave goodbye and her eyes were practically twinkling as she saw me off.

_This is getting good! I'll have to interrogate Tino tomorrow and get the juicy details._

It is amazing how quickly her opinion of Berwald turned around.

The bus pulled away from the library and I took my seat next to the person who still seemed so vaguely familiar yet I am positive I have never seen him before in my life. He settled down and pulled out his cell phone to text someone, not caring enough to even spare a thought about how confused I was, and I couldn't help but fidget nervously. I know this is supposed to be a fun surprise for me planned by Berwald, but…I was starting to get uneasy. I knew I wasn't supposed to pry or ask what was going on because that would ruin all the work Berwald put into this, but I couldn't help myself and finally turned to the man at my left.

"Uh…so…who are you, exactly?"

His thumbs didn't stop tapping on the keypad and he answered my question simply. "My name is Lukas." He then gave me a sideways glance. "I've heard a lot about you from Berwald."

"Oh, you're his roommate's boyfriend!" I realized with a smile. No wonder I recognized him, I have seen vague blips of memory from Berwald featuring him and Mathias here and there. By what I remembered, Lukas is the one that doesn't annoy him.

"…Yes," Lukas replied in a mumble. I guess I said that last part a little loud and now everyone on board was sparing little looks at us. "He talks about us?"

"Yeah, a little."

Lukas went back to his cell phone and hit the send button, then put it back in his pocket and returned his cool gaze back to me. His thoughts were as impassive as his demeanor. _I'm not surprised. Mathias and I are among his only friends. How come someone like this isn't afraid of him? He better not be trying to use Berwald…but something about Tino tells me he's genuine. I've always been told I was a good judge of character so I guess I can trust him. For now. _"It is good to meet you, Tino. I assume you don't know where we are going?" I nodded. "Then we are in the same boat."

"Wait…you don't know where we are supposed to go either?" I blinked at him. Lukas shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I was supposed to be here to make sure you could pay your till. He said to get off at the stop with a yellow balloon on it. I don't even know where that is. Any idea why he's being so secretive about all of this? I couldn't get him to tell me what this was about for the life of me."

"No, I don't. I just know he wants to surprise me with something… You must be a really good friend to do something like this for him."

"Yup." _And I lost a bet with him awhile back and owe him a favor. It really could be worse. I'm glad to finally be meeting Little Tino._

He's still calling me that! Didn't I say I would sock him in the jaw if he ever said that out loud? Well…I probably wouldn't, but at the very least I could give him a hard glare. But he would probably think it is cute because I tend to puff out my cheeks when I'm angry and he'd just chuckle and kiss me on the forehead. Berwald is a sweetheart but he can be frustrating sometimes.

Anyway, back to the moment at hand, it looked like all the stops were being pulled to make sure I was kept in the dark. I like the mystery, but…I'm used to knowing everything before hand, you know? It was kind of scary being without a clue. But I knew I shouldn't be worried because I trusted Berwald. And Lukas, too. He seemed responsible enough.

The bus went by a few stops until we neared the park. I was looking out the window fiddling with the ear of my Moomin toy when something bouncing around in the breeze ahead of us made me sit up. It was the telltale yellow balloon! I nudged Lukas and he nodded, pulled the bell, and the bus came to a gradual stop. I nearly ran into the doors before they could open and went immediately for the balloon tied to a post at the bus stop. Was there a note? A sign? Anything? …No. Just a balloon. I turned back to ask Lukas if he knew anything else but he didn't.

I took a glance around the area and let my telepathy extend, hoping to hear one familiar voice among the others. It was mostly garble from passing cars and playing children, and Lukas.

_Is he okay? Tino looks kind of sick or something._

I quickly shook my head of the concentration and was about to say something when the bus pulled away from the stop and, to my relief, I saw something behind Berwald's friend. It was another balloon on the other side of the street tethered to a park bench. And behind that, another one attached to a bush leading to the park trail. Lukas turned around to see what I was smiling about and he nodded.

"Alright, looks like we are in the right place. You first."

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><p><strong>This will either be a very cute romantic surprise, or the set up for a horror movie.<strong>

**I've been working on this one off and on for weeks! School has clogged my life and done away with most of my free-time recently. It isn't so bad, though, 'cause at least the stuff I'm doing is fun. So forgive me for disappearing for awhile. (At least it wasn't a cliff hanger I left you guys on.) I was writing one or two lines here, and a few more the next day, and then another word or two a week after that…teehee. But the good news for you guys is that this is NOT the last chapter like I said it would be. Whoo!**

**BTW - I'd like to thank you guys again for all the reviews and love and support this story has gotten. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back from the grave!**

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><p>I'd never been on the trail at the park before. I don't know why, either, because it was very beautiful in the middle of the woods, and very secluded. Trees passed us by as Lukas and I carried on, making sure not to trip on any roots or rocks sticking out of the dirt and occasionally spying another balloon ahead. The lack of people around was nice and I could focus on the sound of wind through the trees and imagine the bird calls you would hear in the spring. Lucas, however, didn't seem to be as interested in the trail as our destination. It wasn't that he didn't like nature or was excited to get to the end; he just didn't appreciate it as much as I do.<p>

Soon we came to a fork in the path and another yellow balloon tied to a tree branch on the right side. We were just about to take that path when I suddenly put my arm out to stop Lukas. I willed him to be still and his eyes questioned why I was so tense all of a sudden.

_Right on time._ That voice was unfamiliar to me and it was coming from ahead of us. There was someone else on this trail, and they were apparently waiting for us.

"What is it?" Lukas whispered. I put a finger to my lips and answered softly.

"I heard something…I have the sneaking suspicion we are being watched…"

Lukas took a second to observe "I don't see any-"

_Now!_

I only had a second's warning before there was a rustle and the sound of feet pounding on the soft dirt of the forest. In that one second, a million and one scenarios went through my head, all of them inspired by the countless horror novels and movies I've seen in my life. Was it a trap? Did someone lure us here somehow to kill us and dump our bodies in a log deep in the woods where nobody would find us?

"AH-HA!" The figure of a man suddenly burst onto the trail from the left and came straight for us at top speed. I shrieked and made a dive to the side to get away, but it turns out I was not his target. Lukas made a yelping noise as he was grabbed and the attacker hoisted him over his shoulder, the other kicked his legs in retaliation. I was about to shout for help when I heard a name.

"Mathias!" Lukas growled. "Put me down, dumbass! What was that for?"

"Bwahaha! Scared you, didn't I?" The spiky-haired man laughed as he struggled to keep Lukas in his grip.

"No, you didn't. Why the hell are you here?" Lukas made a twisting move intending on getting away and Mathias nearly lost his hold. Meanwhile, I was leaning against a tree trying to get my heart to return to its normal beat. Relief flooded my veins when I realized this was the fabled Mathias, roommate of Berwald. One look at his haughty grin and I knew why Berwald thought he was annoying. I would expect Lukas to think so, too, but apparently he liked the man enough to date him. He was wearing casual clothes but with a thin checkered tie loosely around his neck.

"I'm here to whisk you away somewhere fun and romantic," he replied with a smug grin that turned into a short grimace when Lukas knee'd him in the stomach. He didn't put him down, though the other was putting up a very good fight. Sensing that he wouldn't be able to hold him for long, Mathias quickly gave me a look over and a thumb's up before turning around back down the path we came from. _Holy crap, he's adorable! Waldo sure knows how to pick'em. _"So you're Little Tino, eh?" Fucking hell. "It's nice to finally meet the guy that has Berwald tripping over his own feet. Wish I could stay and chat, but I've got to get a move on. See ya!"

He turned his back on me without another word and strolled off, humming a happy tune. I got to see Lukas's face which was beat red with a mix of embarrassment and anger and he said one last thing to me before putting his efforts back on getting down from his boyfriend's shoulder. "Sorry about this, and have fun with whatever it is Berwald planned. We will have to properly meet sometime – ow! You dolt, don't do that!" I watched them go a little confused, but quickly pieced it together. Berwald must have had Mathias in on this too, just to make sure I was the only one that arrived at the mysterious destination. This was quite a lot of effort, wasn't it? I suddenly felt unworthy.

"Bye!" I waved to them not really knowing what else to say. I'm pretty sure they didn't hear me, though, what with Lukas strangling Mathias with his own tie at the moment. My back straightened and I looked to the path in front of me, determined to get to the bottom of all this excitement.

000

It didn't take long to reach the end of the trail. My feet took me out of the foliage and to a clearing surrounding a small lake. Almost a pond, really. In this weather it was devoid of much life but it was still beautiful the way the sky reflected off the glass surface. There was a well worn path around it and a small wooden dock extending from the beach, and that is where I found you-know-who sitting on a bench in waiting. His thoughts were beckoning when he saw me and waved me over with an inward smile. I smiled back as I trotted to meet him at the end of the pier, and in the water to his side was a small row boat. One look in his mind and I knew where this was going.

"Ber!" I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down in an embrace. He hugged me back without hesitation.

_Did you make it here alright?_

I pulled back so he could see my face and read my lips. "Yes, it was fine. Fun, too! You really went for it…oh my gosh, this is incredible. You surprised me!"

He really only understood the 'you surprised me' part out of my gushing, but that was all he needed. "Ah did?"

"Yes!" I dove back in for another bone crushing hug as I laughed, feeling very victorious since I was just able to get Berwald to smile. It was that big warm smile that he didn't make very often, the one I am always trying to pry from his lips. My heart fluttered at the sight and all I could do was press myself into his arms. This moment was so undeniably perfect.

Pride was the only thing really emanating from Berwald at the moment. _Yes, I did it! Tino liked the surprise. He seems so happy, I wonder what else I can do to get this reaction again? Maybe I could…_

"Woah woah," I pulled away gently. "Don't start thinking up any plans when I'm right here. Focus on this one."

_Right, sorry. And this plan involves a kiss._

My blood rushed to my face at his thought. I'm shy, okay? It doesn't matter if I've already kissed him once or a thousand times, I'm still kind of bashful. Berwald knows this, but he thinks it's cute. At least he doesn't call me a wimp and demand that I man-up. It's not like I ever refuse him, anyway.

I stood on my toes and waited for him to lean down, which was almost instant. Our lips touched and, to my utter pleasure, that magical thing happened when we kiss. It was silent, it was bliss… But this kiss was meant to be sweet and short, and the magic left shortly after pulling away. It took a great deal of control not to pull him down again and make myself appear needy when just a second before I was so hesitant…but Berwald would probably like that, too. Either his standards were alarmingly low or I was his own personal fetish.

Still, it was very tempting. Recently I found myself craving his lips and the soft relief that came with them, if only so briefly, but the constant buzz of thoughts was very easy to handle when they were his and we were alone. Just me and him on this dock…

"A boat? Really?" I looked to the small row boat next to us floating on the practically smooth water and raised an eyebrow. Berwald caught my look.

_Does he not like boats? Is it a little too much? Perhaps the idea _is_ rather cliché…_

"No, no!" I shook my head quickly to dispel his doubts. "I love it, really! Sure it's cliché, but I kind of like cliché. It's really different and unexpected, which is what this is all about, right?"

Berwald nodded, the corners of his lips still partially turned up as a remnant of the beautiful smile from earlier. "M'glad." _Shall we?_

He stepped into the small craft making ripples on the water's surface to cascade and spread out in all directions. One foot was still on the dock to keep it from drifting away too much and his hand was extended towards me to help me in as if I were a girl. It does kind of annoy me when he does that, but…well…there's no way around it, is there? Still, I smiled and took his hand. "Let's."

Once we were in the center of the lake, we settled down to enjoy the feeling of being adrift. It was chilly but Berwald prepared for that and had a blanket stashed in the bottom which he draped over my shoulders, and I insisted that we share. He didn't have a problem with that.

It was warm with the combined effort of the blanket and Berwald's arms around me. His coat was comfortable to lean against, so I did without shame. The only problem was that my head was facing away while I sat between his legs so I couldn't speak to him, but we remedied that with a piece of paper on a clipboard and a pencil. Berwald thought of everything, didn't he? As soon as we were settled in, I started interrogating him about his new job.

'When do you start?'

_Monday. My shift starts at six and ends at four thirty in the afternoon._

'Long day. What will you be doing?'

_My job title is being a 'mover,' which means I will be moving furniture around the store and to people's cars when they buy it. I'll also be building some displays._

'You mean you have to put together all those pieces you get from a big box? Let's hope they come with all the pieces! Haha, what kind of pay will you get?'

_Enough to get my own place again. I have to save up for down payments, but I plan on moving out very soon._

I felt the excitement at the very thought bubble up inside him at that prospect. Not just because he was finally on the way to getting out of Mathias's place, but because getting his own place is a symbol to him. Some people measure success by money, others by friends, and to Berwald: his dwelling. 'A man's home is his castle' would be a very fitting quote for him. He saw himself rising up to become who he was and the unmistakable glow of pride was present in his mind.

_I want Tino to see how competent I am, to see me with a real home. Will he be impressed? I want to see him smile when that day comes. It will have to be a place he approves of if I will ever have the chance to ask him to move in with me. If we did decide to live together, I wouldn't ever be able to stand his place. Way too small. I shouldn't really be planning that far ahead, though…_

I held back the chuckle I had for his little train of thought and scribbled another thing on the paper. I wouldn't remind him that I could hear his thoughts, it's often better that he forgets. But I wouldn't just ignore them, either. Berwald is trying to impress me, isn't that cute? Little does he know that I am already impressed.

'Can't wait. But this means we will have to work around your schedule now!'

_I probably won't be able to visit the library every day…_

'That's okay. I can always go visit you.'

_I don't want you to push yourself too hard and get a headache._ He remembered our outing to the museum and another little incident when he took me out/I treated him to dinner a few weeks ago. I always feel bad about that, like I'm making him choose me or the rest of the world. I don't want to make him live the secluded life I live if he doesn't like it.

'You think about me too much.'

_Do I?_ He internally smiled and gave a little squeeze where his arms hung loosely around me. _I can't help it._

I squeezed him back, then went back to the paper. 'I know. I can't help it either…thinking about you, I mean.'

_Awwww._

Berwald leaned his head down a bit so he could kiss me on the neck. I felt his smile on my skin and I leaned into it, for once not feeling totally embarrassed. It is nice to be alone…just him and me floating in the middle of the water. The gentle rocking of the boat and his warmth is therapeutic. I really don't care if he has a house, a job, if our dates are low budget and our outings never far from home. He's already given me so much that I don't know how I could ever repay him. I used to think I couldn't ever have close friends, I couldn't find someone who would accept me the way I am, and that it wouldn't ever work between me and…well, anyone. I mean, perhaps it has only been a couple short months, but something about the way Berwald held me made me believe that it was not just a dream. This would last, I was sure of it. And I knew that my premonition was reflected in him.

I am hardly one to talk when it comes to acceptance. Berwald has been struggling with that his whole life. I guess I have too, but for him it's different. I make friends easily, I just chose not to complicate things for my and their safety. Berwald doesn't have that choice at all. He thinks I'm the one that has it worse, though, which is kind of funny. Maybe I do but it doesn't seem like it. I've been this way my whole life and Berwald has only been deaf a few years. He used to listen to music, I sometimes hear the faint sound of a song he remembers echoing in his head from time to time, and I think of how much it must hurt that he can't ever hear it again. He wishes more than anything to hear what my voice sounds like. He wants to hear me say his name…but that will never happen…

He definitely has it worse than me.

A little nip jarred me from my thoughts and I realized I had tipped my head back for him. His lips were still on my neck leaving little kisses; I had my eyes closed and my arms reaching behind me, pulling him down. I didn't even notice until now how intimate this was getting. Damn, does he drive me nuts!

"Love yah."

"Me too," I whispered and turned my head so I could repeat myself in a quick peck. He let me have his cheek before he took my lips, slow and sweet. This is the way he reads them when words do not work.

He may have it worse, but he doesn't seem to care. Especially when he has me in his arms. To him, it is like life couldn't get any better.

Neither could mine.

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><p><strong>THE END.<strong>

**That isn't too abrupt of an ending, is it? I mean, I had more planned, but due to circumstances I kind of just had to end the story as quickly as possible.**

**You may have noticed my absence for, like, a month or so. This is because things are happening to me in real life that are very…life changing. Especially this weekend. For example: I'm not yet graduated from high school and I just found out that I have to move out. Exciting. If you want to know more, feel free to ask, but otherwise just know that I'll be okay and I don't know when I will write again, but I will eventually.**

**I've got one last SuFin story I have in reserves for you guys, though! It's all prewritten so I get to post the chapters on a regular schedule. Look forward to "It's Worth It" if you are one of my readers! :)**

**That's all, folks! Thanks for all the awesome views and lovely reviews for this story. It was fun!**


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